‘It’s So Embarrassing for Them’: Marc Maron Says Conservatives Burning Barbie Dolls Are ‘Insecure Babies’

It used to be the case that, when a group of male-identifying individuals got together to set fire to a bunch of Barbie dolls in order to celebrate their masculinity, the average age of the arsonists was roughly eight years old. Thanks to Ben Shapiro and his ilk, that’s still true.

The perpetually triggered conservative commentator has always had the stature of a child, and, in his latest bid for media relevance, he’s proven to have the emotional maturity of one as well. Ever since Greta Gerwig’s Barbie premiered three weeks ago, its measured and palatable critique of patriarchal structures has been causing conniptions amongst attention-hungry conservatives like Shapiro who have chosen to express their manly outrage by buying a bunch of Barbie dolls and setting them on fire in Twitter videos.

Meanwhile, men around the world whose masculinity isn’t so easily threatened by a children’s movie about dancing dolls are still hitting theaters to see Barbie and walking out thinking, “Wow, that was fun!” Marc Maron is such a man, and, earlier this week, he shared a message that I desperately hope will break through to those fragile children who left the theater feeling more emasculated than a Ken Doll when he drops his drawers.

In Maron’s glowing review and demoralizing deconstruction of the crybaby conservatives who took offense to the film, he touched on an incredibly important point that bears repeating each time these clowns desperately vie for our attention by creating plastic outrage — it’s a grift. Shapiro’s media machine runs on creating controversy where none should rightly exist, and, if it were up to him, every single big-budget entertainment event would be a battleground in this endless, exhausting culture war.

Mattel, on the other hand, is much more transparent in their marketing scheme — their billion-dollar Barbie commercial is already driving doll sales through the roof. After all, whiny podcasters still have to buy the toys before they burn them.