7 Celebs With Surprisingly Famous Relatives
If you don't have a cousin you'd rather not talk about, great news: you're it. You're the cousin. Whether this mythical relative is too embarrassing, too tragic, or too devastatingly cool to bring up, the fact remains that every family has one -- and that goes for famous people too. Which explains why you probably didn't know about ...
Mara Wilson Is Ben Shapiro's Cousin, Doesn't Seem To Care Much For Him
Ben Shapiro is that guy who DESTROYS liberals with FACTS and LOGIC and A COMPLETE LACK OF BASIC HUMAN EMPATHY, according to YouTube thumbnails. Mara Wilson is, of course, a famed Cracked.com writer who has also acted in obscure movies like Mrs. Doubtfire, Matilda, and Miracle On 34th Street (she also blogs on Substack and tweets on Twitter). The adorable little girl from every '90s movie and the internet's favorite gateway drug to right-wing shitlordery don't seem to have anything in common aside from their height, but they actually share a surname: Wilson's mom was named Suzie Shapiro. As in, Ben's aunt.
Shapiro mentioned that Wilson is his cousin in an episode of his radio show in 2014, while talking about why godless unmarried couples are to blame for Justin Bieber getting a DUI (#logic FTW!). He also claimed that he and Wilson "grew up a block from each other" ... but they don't appear to be so close these days, considering she blocked him on Twitter.
Wilson has never publicly mentioned her reasons for blocking her cuz, but considering that her display name is Mara "Get Rid of the Nazis" Wilson, we have some theories. In fact, she has never directly acknowledged him on social media at all, but she has talked about having "shitty cousins" and liked some less than flattering tweets about Shapiro:
Don't feel bad for Wilson, though. She may have the human personification of the words "I'm not racist, but" as a blood relative, but she also has Danny DeVito as a spiritual one -- she has talked about how DeVito and his wife Rhea Perlman, who played her awful parents in Matilda, lovingly cared for her after her mom died, thus proving that not all comically short people are evil.
Amy Klobuchar Is Zola Jesus' Cousin (But Not Her Presidential Pick)
Amy Klobuchar, meanwhile, is known for running 1) for president and 2) out of interns (because she treats them like steaming turds). If you asked the world's most advanced A.I. to produce the exact opposite of a rock star, it would print out Klobuchar's Congress portrait. And yet, before Klobuchar dropped out of the presidential race, Zola confessed in a since deleted tweet that the two are cousins ... but she's still voting for Bernie.
Zola's confirmation that she was talking about Klobuchar came followed by a ":|" -- probably the most enthusiastic emoticon used in conjunction with Klobuchar's name in all of Twitter. She also threw in a flag of Slovenia, the land of the ancestors that the two share with (as Klobuchar is a little too fond of pointing out) Melania Trump. Once you find out they're related, the physical resemblance is impossible to unsee:
It's unclear why Zola deleted the tweets above, but we're guessing it has to do with the fact that not even rock stars are immune to a disappointed phone call from mom.
Chuck Schumer And Amy Schumer Are Cousins, Get Along Unexpectedly Well
One has an important job at the United States Senate. The other did a movie where she blows a guy in a park bench and almost has sex with a 16-year-old. It's hard to imagine Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer and comedian Amy Schumer being the same species, let alone related, but believe it or not they are both those things.
At first, it sounded like there wasn't much of a relationship ... and to be fair, when's the last time you hanged out with your dad's second cousin? In a 2011 interview, Amy said she'd bumped into Chuck in NYC a few times, but she highly doubted he'd ever seen her act. But then, they were united by a common passion: hating Donald Trump. When Trump accused Chuck of faking his tears during a conference about the Muslim travel ban, Amy jumped in to defend him, in her own way. She said: "I know chuck Schumer and HE CANNOT act trust me. He can barely smile on cue."
The Schumers had a more significant collaboration after a far-right nutcase shot and killed some people during a showing of Amy's Trainwreck in 2015 (it's OK if you don't remember; it was about 1,500 mass shootings ago). Distraught, Amy decided to get into gun control activism, which for celebrities usually means tweeting #gunsbad every once in a while. But in her case, she actually helped her cousin promote a bill that would restrict gun access for violent criminals, abusers, and mentally ill people.
Since then, they've also made cameos on each other's Instagrams and occasionally tag each other on Twitter. Honestly, if that's the entirety of their interaction, they already sound closer than 90% of cousins.