13 Hilarious Jokes and Moments About Toys

A toy was likely the first object you ever considered “yours” when you first became conscious of such an ideal. It could have been a plush stuffed animal, an action figure, a doll, a game or something else, but as the Toy Story franchise has shown four times over now, kids definitely forge a personal connection with their toys. And much like with any other connection — real or imagined — it can be mined for comedy gold.

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To that end, here are some of the best jokes and moments from comedians regarding your favorite toys...

13 Dana Carvey on Buying Action Figures for His Kids

“I take them to Toys ‘R’ Us, and they’re sitting in the car, ‘Buy me that useless piece of plastic.’ Well, you already have that one. ‘I don’t have that one; I’ve got Megator, that’s Megatee!’”

12 Nate Bargatze Discusses the Problem With Baby Dolls

“When you’re a baby, and you’re born, they give you a baby doll. So they give you a baby when you’re a baby.”

11 Brad Bonar Provides a Fun Toy Prank

10 Jenny Slate on How a Football Is a Toy

Slate goes into how she loves watching men play football because it appears like each team is made of “best friends,” and they “go rush after the toy (ball).” In fairness to her, it is rather darling to think that a quarterback passing a ball is just sharing a toy with a teammate.

9 Anthony Rodia on Skip-It

“Anybody have Skip-It? I tried to explain to my daughter, and she’s like, ‘That’s abuse.’ I said, ‘I know.’ Parents bought it so kids would beat the shit out of themselves.”

8 Happy Fun Ball!

Saturday Night Live introduces a fun new toy — provided that you follow and acknowledge the legal disclaimers.

7 ‘Saturday Night Live’ Brings Toys to Life

SNL shows that if you were to make toys come to life, it’d be a bit more adult-themed than Toy Story would have you believe.

6 ‘Saturday Night Live’s Consumer Probe

In this classic SNL sketch, Dan Aykroyd plays a toy salesman who is a snake-oil salesman of unsafe toys, including a bag of broken glass.

5 Roy Wood Jr. Thinks ‘Street Fighter’ Is Actually Peaceful

“I know people that don’t even like you to play Street Fighter, which to me is the most peaceful of all video games. Of all the violent video games, Street Fighter is the best one; nobody dies in Street Fighter. You get your ass whupped in Street Fighter, then you get life advice. You get your ass whupped, then the dude who whupped your ass looks at you in the face and says, ‘Go home and be a family man.’”

4 ‘Saturday Night Live’ vs. Adult Toy Collectors

Being a Star Wars fan is fine. Being a toy collector is fine. Being a Star Wars toy collector who tells kids how to play with their Star Wars toys? Not so fine.

3 ‘Robot Chicken’s Video Games vs. ‘Toy Story’

Andy’s toys don’t last long in a world where video games are becoming more of the norm for youngsters. In fact, things get downright violent.

2 Jo Koy Buys Toys for His Kid — And, Of Course, Himself

Koy grew up poor, so he spoils his kid with toys since he never had many as a youngster — and because he wants to play with them, too.

1 Toys ‘R’ Me

Arguably the best thing the late Lance Reddick has ever done, Funny Or Die’s Toys ‘R’ Me sketch, is dark hilarity at its finest, and you must RESPECT THE BAKUGAN DISPLAY!