‘He Can Hit Man, He’s Got F*cking Power’: Joe Rogan Says Kevin James Could Kick Your Ass

We’re all very lucky Paul Blart was only a mall cop. I shudder to imagine what Kevin James could do with qualified immunity.

We’ve long known that, despite his appearance, James was a talented athlete in his younger years — in high school, James was the star of the wrestling team, beating out future WWE legend Mick Foley for the top spot. James was also a football player in college before a back injury knocked him out of athletics and doomed him to a multi-million dollar career in CBS comedies and Adam Sandler movies for decades to come. 

James got the chance to relive his wrestling glory in the 2012 film Here Comes the Boom, in which he played a high school biology teacher who saves his school’s music department by being a human punching bag in low-level UFC fights for cash. James’ friend and colleague Joe Rogan recently implied on his podcast that the premise was unrealistic — James may be able to take a punch, but, goddamnit, he can throw one, too.

“Kevin and I were buddies in New York. … We were friends in our early, early 20s. We were just starting out,” Rogan explained of his long relationship with James. Rogan, of course, is an important figure in the world of mixed martial arts, having called more than 2,500 fights over the course of his side-career as a commentator for the UFC. “Kevin used to watch all that shit with me, we used to watch Pancrase and the early K-1 fights and everything, man,” Rogan said of their shared love of all things blood sport.

Rogan explained that, should the situation arise, his old friend could be more than a spectator in a scrap, saying, “Kevin is a fucking serious martial artist too, people don’t realize that. He can hit, man. He’s got fucking power.” 

Here’s a free sitcom idea for CBS: Make a show about James and Rogan in their early 20s, but instead of becoming massively successful stand-up comics, they pursue their love of fighting and work their way up the ladder in the local martial arts scene as they both vie for the title of the greatest fighter in their borough. You can call it The King of Queens.