‘King of the Hill’: Ranking All of Hank’s Neighbors by How Neighborly They Are
“Rainey Street is hot,” Hank Hill happily mutters to himself in Season Eight of King of the Hill when he finds out that his residence, which he takes a great deal of pride in, is suddenly rising in property value. And why shouldn’t it? It’s located in the beautiful town of Arlen, Texas, and Hank was famously meticulous about his lawn.
But there might be one thing that could hold Rainey Street back: Hank’s neighbors. From the insult-slinging Kahn Souphanousinphone, to the overly needy Bill Dauterive, to all of Dale Gribble’s paranoid behavior, it’s enough to drive even the sanest among us out of their minds.
That’s why I decided to rank each of Hank’s neighbors by just how good of a neighbor they are. With the help of a Rainey Street map that a dedicated King of the Hill fan posted on Reddit, I figured out each of their addresses — most of the time, anyway, as they do sometimes shift — and graded each Arlenite on their property maintenance, noise level, reliability and potentially annoying personal habits. Mhmm.
Address: 82 Rainey Street
Property Maintenance: Dale does an okay job of maintaining his lawn, but he’ll often undermine that by doing crazy things like building a guard tower in his backyard.
Noise Level: Dale’s extermination truck, which also has an unsightly giant dead roach on the roof, looks like a pretty loud clunker. Plus, his screams of “Sh-sh-sha!” and paranoid ramblings about the government never cease.
Personal Habits: Dale has all kinds of crazy experiments going on at his property, including a gerbil-breeding operation and the tunnel he dug to Hank’s basement.
Neighborly Reliability: Dale and Hank are old friends, but Dale is also quick to turn on Hank if his paranoia is getting the better of him. He’d be a nightmare to live next to.
Address: 124 Milton Street, Arlen
Property Maintenance: When Pops — the old guy who lived next to Bill — dies in Season Four, Luanne and some friends move in and do a terrible job maintaining the place. Later on, Luanne lives there with her husband Lucky. While it’s not totally clear how well they keep up the place, it’s probably no better than before, as Lucky’s the kind of redneck who would keep an old fridge on the front lawn.
Noise Level: Luanne’s friends are noisy loafers that drive even Luanne nuts. As for her and Lucky’s time there, Lucky has been known to hoot, holler and rev the engine on his massive truck — none of which are exactly quiet activities.
Personal Habits: Luanne’s friends are partiers, which is bad for their neighbors. Although Luanne can be responsible, Lucky’s characteristic laziness and love for loud, redneck activities is likely tough to live around.
Neighborly Reliability: Both Luanne and Lucky are caring people who would certainly help Hank if he were in need. However, Lucky does have a love for frivolous injury lawsuits — he even tries to sue Dale in one episode.
Address: 124 Milton Street
Property Maintenance: Even at 80 years old, Pops took good care of his lawn.
Noise Level: Not a lot was known about Pops, as he was a very minor character before his death in Season Four, but he’d occasionally yell at his neighbors.
Personal Habits: He walked a dog — that’s about it.
Neighborly Reliability: Pops was a grouchy old guy no one really seemed to like. Hard to imagine that he’s the neighbor you’d ask to get your mail when you’re out of town.
Address: 86 Rainey Street
Property Maintenance: Khan takes excellent care of his property, much like Hank.
Noise Level: Khan’s loud chiding of Hank can be obnoxious, but that’s about it.
Personal Habits: Aside from the episode where Kahn becomes a redneck, he’s usually working. He eventually gets a pool though, and since Hank, Bill, Dale and Boomhauer built the pool, they have access to it — a definite bonus.
Neighborly Reliability: Kahn can be petty and obnoxious, but over time, he and Hank develop a mutual respect for each other, if not a genuine friendship. If either Hank or Kahn were in need, they could certainly turn to the other for help.
Address: 122 Milton Street
Property Maintenance: Bill has been known to let his property go — much like he let himself go after his wife left him.
Noise Level: There’s the occasional uncontrollable sobbing, but Bill’s not too noisy otherwise.
Personal Habits: Drinking beer in the alley and wallowing in self-pity.
Neighborly Reliability: Bill would do anything for Hank. He’s a genuinely good friend and caring person, but his neediness — and his obvious attraction to Hank’s wife — would make him difficult to live next to at times.
Address: 120 Milton Street
Property Maintenance: Tough to say, as we see the least of Boomhauer’s lawn — hell, we don’t even learn his first name and profession (Texas Ranger) until the series finale. But from what we can see, he seems to keep his house in order.
Noise Level: Aside from the occasional moans of a satisfied lady friend, he’s pretty quiet.
Personal Habits: Drinking beer in the alley and pleasing the ladies — a very Zen existence.
Neighborly Reliability: While the mush-mouthed neighbor is somewhat mysterious to the casual King of the Hill fan, dedicated watchers know that Boomhauer is well educated — he casually refers to Duchamp’s Fountain in one episode — and is an honest guy (especially in Season Three’s “A Fire Fighting We Will Go,” where he compels the group to do the right thing after they start a fire in a firehouse). He also minds his own business in a way that Bill never could, but at the same time, wouldn’t hesitate to help a friend. In other words, you’d be hard-pressed to find a better neighbor than Boomhauer.