‘King of the Hill’: Luanne’s Love Interests, Ranked

They were all kinda losers, but only one of them was blown up at the Mega Lo Mart
‘King of the Hill’: Luanne’s Love Interests, Ranked

Luanne Platter’s love life was among the most turbulent ongoing storylines on King of the Hill. When the series began, she was with the dim-witted Buckley, who generally treated her like crap. Despite this, they remained together until Buckley blew up in a propane accident at the Mega Lo Mart. 

After that, she hooked up with a handful of other selfish jerks — some of whom dumped her unexpectedly, another who got grabby with her at a bar and an especially controlling richer, older man who ended up being ground into sausage. 

Fortunately, things leveled out for Luanne over the last few seasons of the show after she met Lucky, a good-hearted redneck who was still living off of settlement money from when he slipped on some urine at Costco. As far as love stories go, it was hardly Romeo and Juliet, but it was about as sweet as romance got for Luanne on King of the Hill. To that end, here’s our full accounting of all of her turbulent paramours, ranked in order of how long each relationship lasted.

Wade (Voiced by Mondo Navarro)

His Dating Profile: A football player who seems like an all-American Good Ol’ Boy

How Long They Dated For: Less than one date

Their Not-So-Meet-Cute: When Luanne and Buckley break up for an episode in Season One, Hank fixes her up with Wade.

How They Broke Up: A short while into their first date, Wade gets grabby with Luanne and Boomhauer has to drive her home.

Kevin (Voiced by Jack De Sena)

His Dating Profile: A 15-year-old high school boy who asks the 21-year-old Luanne to go to prom with him

How Long They Dated For: However long the Arlen prom lasts

Their Not-So-Meet-Cute: In Season 11’s “Luanne Gets Lucky,” Luanne meets Kevin at her barbershop and agrees to go to the prom with him, though she’s never romantically interested in him.

How They Broke Up: They were never really together, but that didn’t stop Lucky’s friends from threatening to kill Kevin. Eventually, everything gets sorted out, and Luanne continues to be Kevin’s prom date, though she saves the last dance for Lucky.

Zack (Voiced by Dax Shepard)

His Dating Profile: A red-eyed stoner who works at Foto Phast and only appears for a few seconds in Season Five’s “Luanne Virgin 2.0”

How Long They Dated For: Probably only a few days

Their Not-So-Meet-Cute: It’s never revealed, but we do know that Zack and Luanne had sex.

How They Broke Up: When Luanne tries to use his employee discount at Foto Phast, Zack calls her “Linda” and tells her their relationship is over. She runs out crying.

Rhett Van Der Graaf (Voiced by Owen Wilson )

His Dating Profile: A shy virgin who attends a Youth Abstinence Program at the Arlen church

How Long They Dated For: About a week

Their Not-So-Meet-Cute: After Zack breaks up with Luanne, Hank discovers that she isn’t a virgin and takes Luanne to their pastor. The pastor recommends Luanne become a “Born Again Virgin” and join the church’s Youth Abstinence Program. For moral support, Hank and Peggy attend the workshop as well, which is where Hank meets Rhett Van Der Graaf. Later on, when Hank sees Rhett at the bowling alley, he introduces her to Luanne.

How They Broke Up: With Rhett being a virgin and Luanne being a Born Again Virgin, they both want to wait to have sex until they get married, so they rush into a wedding. Fortunately, Luanne calls things off before making a big mistake. 

Rad Thibodeaux (Voiced by Matthew McConaughey )

His Dating Profile: A smooth-talking, self-proclaimed genius who works as a concert promoter (or so he says)

How Long They Dated For: A couple of weeks

Their Not-So-Meet-Cute: Luanne gives Rad a free haircut at the Arlen Beauty Academy. He asks her out, and she excitedly says yes.

How They Broke Up: After Rad uses Luanne to throw a party at Boomhauer’s house while Boomhauer is away, they get into an argument and Luanne declares that Rad is no longer her boyfriend. Rad responds by saying they never were together to begin with. However, in the aforementioned “Luanne Virgin 2.0” (aka the episode with Dax Shephard as Zack), we learn that the two had sex and that she also had sex with “Rad’s ex-best friend,” which might imply he really did have feelings for her.

Trip Larsen (Voiced by Michael Keaton )

His Dating Profile: The “Hog King of Arlen.” As explained in Season Seven’s “Pigmalion,” Trip is “an entrepreneur, an innovator and an inventor responsible for ‘ediblizing’ two new parts of the pig.”

How Long They Dated For: Several months

Their Not-So-Meet-Cute: Peggy signs Luanne up for a class at the Arlen Learning Annex where Trip is speaking. He immediately falls for Luanne due to her resemblance to the “Larsen Pork Products Girl” created by his father. He then woos her with his vast wealth and has her move in with him.

How They Broke Up: Over time, Trip becomes more and more controlling. He even dyes Luanne’s hair red like the Larsen Pork Products Girl and forces her to wear the same clothes as the mascot as well. By the end of the episode, Trip reveals himself to be completely psychotic when he corners Luanne in his pork-packing plant. She is saved, however, when he gets ground up into sausage.

Mark Buckley (Voiced by David Herman)

His Dating Profile: A lazy, stupid slacker who works at Mega Lo Mart, mostly ignores Luanne and more than earns Hank’s ire

How Long They Dated For: For the first two seasons of King of the Hill, until his untimely death

Their Not-So-Meet-Cute: We never learn precisely when or how Luanne and Buckley met, but it was around the time the series began, as the relationship was just three weeks old in “Luanne’s Saga,” the fifth ever episode of the show.

How They Broke Up: Their rocky relationship ends at the conclusion of Season Two, when Buckley dies after the Mega Lo Mart explodes. The explosion was most likely caused by Buckley himself, due to his irresponsible handling of the propane tanks. Buckley and Luanne are sorta reunited in Season Three’s “Wings of the Dope” when she meets his angel in a surprisingly sweet episode.

Elroy “Lucky” Kleinschmidt (Voiced by Tom Petty)

His Dating Profile: A local redneck who befriends Kahn in Season Eight’s “The Redneck on Rainey Street.” He earned his nickname because he “slipped on pee-pee at the Costco” and won a judgment of $53,000.

How Long They Dated For: The last five seasons of King of the Hill and presumably forever afterwards

Their Not-So-Meet-Cute: While Lucky first appears toward the end of Season Eight, he doesn’t meet Luanne until the middle of Season Nine’s “Care-Takin' Care of Business.” He catches her admiring the rims on his truck, and they immediately became inseparable.

How They Broke Up: They don’t. Despite being the laziest guy in Arlen, Lucky sweeps Luanne off her feet, much like that pee-pee spill at the Costco did to him. The couple gets married at the end of Season 11 and have a baby at the start of Season 13. When the series concluded at the end of that season, Luanne and Lucky are still together and raising their daughter — as happily of an ever after as Luanne was ever gonna get.

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