George Costanza’s Stupidest ‘Seinfeld’ Moments, According to Reddit

“George can be cunning and (almost) clever but he’s such an IDIOT sometimes,” notes Redditor u/AdPov before posing a crucial question to the r/seinfeld community: “What are some of his top moments of stupidity?” (Rubs hands together) Oh, this should be a treasure trove of idiocy.

u/AdPov leads off with an example: “The scene where he steals the clock and the idiotic grin always gets me.” (A refresher: George leaves a hat at new girlfriend Heather’s apartment as a way to get another date. When she claims to not have the hat, George steals her clock as revenge/ransom. As u/AdPov says, stupid.)

Here are more top moments in Constanza stupidity, as measured by r/seinfeld upvotes:

George thought coffee actually meant coffee.

Another date invites George up to her apartment for a midnight “cup of coffee,” but George turns her down since the caffeine keeps him up at night. It’s only later that he understands the coffee invitation was a euphemism for a night of romance, a realization that fuels his own self-loathing. “People this stupid shouldn’t be allowed to live.”

George steals again -- and time, it’s his boss’s family photo.

The Boombox Incident is complicated so bear with me here: George has an angry run-in with a family on the beach, only to find out years later that Mr. Kruger, his new boss (who doesn’t recognize George), was the patriarch. In Kruger’s office, George discovers a family vacation photo with George in the background. Kramer suggests stealing the photo and airbrushing out George before Kruger realizes who he’s hired and … you can see where this all is headed. A plan this stupid deserves to fail.

George didn’t lock the door.

So simple, George, yet so painful. Who changes out of a wet swimsuit without first securing the door, especially if the water was cold? Stupid George gets the shortchanging he deserves.

George’s fast driving leads to a fight with the Bubble Boy.

The Bubble Boy was interested in meeting Jerry, not George, but our Costanza only has himself to blame for an uncomfortable rendezvous. Encouraged by light traffic, he drives at top speed and loses Jerry on the way to visit the cantankerous Bubble Boy, leaving George and Susan stuck in a contentious game of Trivial Pursuit. The contest goes awry (George, just accept the right answer and don’t be a jerk), leading to physical confrontation. It all could have been avoided if George wouldn’t drive like an idiot.

George told Marisa Tomei he was engaged.

Here’s the thing. George was engaged to Susan, so telling Marisa Tomei the truth was the right, though un-Constanza thing to do. But it was Marisa Tomei! She liked George! And he was miserable in his relationship with Susan from the get-go! There’s a sliding-doors universe where George keeps his mouth shut, breaks things off with Susan (saving her life in the process), and lives happily ever after with an Oscar winner. But he picks this particular circumstance to tell the truth for once? Stupid, George, stupid.

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