As the world reacts to the news that two missiles landed on a Polish village near the Ukrainian border, the Russian Foreign Ministry has created a tactical diversion from their country’s disastrous invasion of Ukraine by banning 100 Canadian citizens from entering the bellicose nation. The most shocking name on the list of hosers whom the “Canadian Russophobic authorities” have deemed to be objectionable was that of comedian and movie star Jim Carrey — apparently, Russia finally got around to translating The Mask, and they took “somebody stop me” as a challenge.

Highly expressive wailing and weeping can no doubt be heard across Canada as Carrey mourns the tragic loss of his ability to visit a country that had to cancel numerous TV shows after all the talented comedians fled the country and whose propagandists recently called the hit sitcom Friends “the very first gurgles of now already boiling ultra-liberal borscht.” In a remarkable show of courage at the height of a brutal and failing war effort, the Russian Foreign Ministry and the state-run media have seemingly started their own “special military operation” against comedy itself.

New Line Cinema

They caught Carrey smuggling props into Ukraine.

The Foreign Ministry published a list of censured Canucks on the Russian Federation’s website yesterday, which included The Handmaid’s Tale author Margaret Atwood alongside Carrey and 98 other Canadians who probably weren’t planning any Russian vacations before they were banned from the premises. Banning foreign entertainers from entering Russia is like a butcher shop banning vegans. 

The translated statement reads, “In response to the ongoing practice of imposing sanctions by the regime of Prime Minister J. Trudeau against the Russian leadership, politicians and parliamentarians, representatives of the business community, experts and journalists, cultural figures, as well as anyone whom the Canadian Russophobic authorities consider objectionable, entry is closed on the basis of reciprocity for 100 Canadian citizens.” 

These bans were an immediate reaction to Justin Trudeau’s announcement yesterday during the G20 meetings in Bali that his country would be expanding sanctions against Russia and increasing aid to Ukraine. Basically, Russia’s idea of “reciprocity” for Canada increasing the economic and military pressure against them was to tell Ace Ventura that he wouldn’t be allowed anywhere near their bears.

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A.I. generated photo of Russia's greatest threat

The only “Russophobic” actions that Carrey had taken leading up to this surprise ban was when he tweeted a denouncement of the Russian invasion at the beginning of the war, as well as when he posted a promo for the Navalny documentary back in April. In other words, the choice of the Russian Foreign Ministry to include one of Canada’s greatest comedic exports on the ban list doesn’t appear to be anything besides a publicity stunt, which the comic has laughed off alongside his fellow Russophobe Atwood — the two exchanged “condolences” on Twitter yesterday evening.

It’s telling that the best Russia can muster to combat the increasing international pressure to end their invasion of Ukraine is to tell the star of Liar Liar that he won’t be spending Christmas in Moscow. Though the suffering of the people in Ukraine at the hands of Russian invaders is far from funny, the futile attempts by Russian authorities to distract the global community from the failing land-grab is only going to get more hilarious as Russia realizes how little leverage they have against the international community. 

Banning comics won’t stop the world from supporting Ukraine. In fact, the only Canadian clown who would actually be hurt by Russian sanctions is Ted Cruz.

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