Pikachu I Choose You (To Be My Wife)

Reminder: canonically Pokémon and humans used to get married.
Pikachu I Choose You (To Be My Wife)

Pokémon lore leaves a lot of questions to be answered when you look closely. Why do they let kids leave the house and hit the road at age 11? Are Pokémon into battling or is it a forced servitude thing? What’s up with Ash’s mom and Mr. Mime? Well, we can guess the answer to at least one of these questions: it’s because they’re living together as man and wife. Tales from long ago tell of the ancient days when humans and Pokémon co-existed not as trainer and pocket monster, but as married couples. Yeah, that’s right, they be boinkin’.


It's simply not up for debate.

In the original Japanese from Pokémon Diamond and Pearl, there’s a book you can find in the game which tells of a time in history when Pokémon and humans could and did marry each other. Which, if you’ve seen some of Lopunny fanart out there is not surprising. It was changed in the English version to “...humans and Pokémon that ate together at the same table.” The folk tale goes on to say that this was because humans and Pokémon were the same. Pokémon are all pretty sentient (even the sword one), so there’s no problem with consent there but still it feels wrong.

There’s also a widely held theory that Frolass is based on a Japanese myth about an ice spirit lady who transforms herself into a human and marries a man who she had saved from the frozen mountains. Japanese mythology is littered with powerful nature spirits who transform into people and seduce humans. So the localization text for the English translation is thought to be a translation meant to make more sense to an American audience because we didn't have that same lore and hey, in this country, we hate sex but love food. 


That come hither stare, those… ice… horns. Her uh…neck to body ratio?

Both translations say that Pokémon and humans were at one time the same, which leads to even more questions. Can you capture a human in a Poke ball? Do humans have elemental powers? Are we all normal types? Are babies just the starter form and our older selves are just the evolution of that baby? Poke/human marriages may not be happening in the time period most of the games are set in, but it does make for some exciting DLC possibilities if they ever want to make Arceus: Ultra Horny Expansion.   

For a poke pallet cleanser check out this birding app that is like IRL Pokémon and this theory about the Great Pokémon War.


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