Two years ago, Cracked's wildfire documentary division said goodbye with a piece about the “Death Bear” that inhabits the World Of Warcraft, a creature so powerful it managed to kill players and wildlife documentary crews alike just by looking at them. We thought that was the last thing of the sort we'd ever hear about in a game, but Elden Ring just gave birth to a very similar beast. The devs of Elden Ring might be behind one of the greatest games of all time, but they're also behind a dumb coding mistake that turned one of the game's dogs, ironically the most malnourished of the bunch, into something far more dangerous than even a mix between Radahn and Malenia, the two most mischievous bosses in the game. Meet the “bleed dog”:

'Elden Ring' players believe turtles to be a kind of dog

Bandai Namco

Sorry, wrong image. That's a regular dog. This is the bleed dog:

The most disgusting dog in the game

Bandai Namco

Though it's kind of on us if we die trying to pet that.

Much like the death bear's stare of death, the bleed dog's hyper-rabies also came about due to some genetic code miscalculations that make it attack way more times than it should. The bleed dogs aren't particularly strong by themselves, but there's a bug in their code that enables the puppers to just randomly flip out and instead of hitting players once per attack animation, they hit players once for each frame of the attack animation. That's up to 60 attacks in one second. These doggos can hit players for over 11,000 damage points per “one attack”, which is a lot considering most high-level characters don't even go over 1,000. hit points. To put that into perspective, if one of these dogs managed to get close to the game's bosses, it would be able to immediately murder any of them. 

The only good takeaways from this nightmare are that they don't have an owner whose death would make them angry and that they only exist in open areas where they're pretty easy to avoid.

A tough boss that involves two of these demons

Bandai Namco

Happy belated April Fools'

Top Image: Bandai Namco, Xam3lpt

Get the Cracked Daily Newsletter!

We've got your morning reading covered.

Tags

Forgot Password?