We still don’t know exactly what happened in the Star Wars universe between the events of Return of the Jedi and The Force Awakens, but predictably, many of these narrative gaps are being filled by various books, comics, and video games. While we have yet to get a new text chronicling Nien Nunb’s PTSD or Wedge Antilles’ newfound taste for human flesh, we are getting a novel about Han Solo and Princess Leia’s wedding and … honeymoon.

Yes, the upcoming novel, Star Wars: The Princess and the Scoundrel (sadly, it’s not called That’s No Honeymoon), takes place in the immediate aftermath of Return of the Jedi. At which point Han apparently, “proposes in the elation of the rebel victory against the Empire,” leading to an immediate ceremony “at the site of the victory celebration.” Which seems very rushed and, depending on how the rest of the universe views Ewokian mating rituals, legally iffy. Presumably, this also could lead to an awkward scene where Luke has to inform Leia that her romantic wedding bonfire is actually the flaming corpse of their father.

The book also reportedly goes into detail about the events that follow the quickie marriage; despite the fact that the blowing up one lone battlestation doesn’t automatically rid the galaxy of space-Nazis, and there are still “Imperial remnants clinging to power,” Han and Leia decide to go on a Honeymoon. Their destination of choice? The Halcyon Starcruiser, which just so happens to be the “luxury vessel at the heart of the new Star Wars: Galactic Starcruiser experience at Disney World Resort.” Which is either an embarrassingly obvious advertisement for a pricey theme park hotel, or – no wait, it’s definitely just that. 

And since the “Starcruiser” itself, and everything inside of Star Wars: Galaxy’s Edge, is canon, the hotel is technically part of the Star Wars universe. Which has prompted some to point out that this means that, for the price of several thousand dollars, you could spend your next family vacation sleeping in the same room where Kylo Ren was likely conceived …

We’re also guessing that more couples may attempt to follow in the footsteps of Han and Leia, and flock to the theme park specifically with the aim of getting it on, thanks to this book – which kind of makes sense, since if you take “Star Wars” out of the title, The Princess And The Scoundrel even sounds like a leaked Disney World celebrity sex tape. 

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Top Image: Lucasfilm/Disney Parks

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