15 Dumbest Looks Of Famous Superheroes And Villains
Some of the classic comic book characters you know and love didn’t always have the classic looks you love (or at least know). Here’s a look at some of the worst of the worst within comic book history that you won’t believe or want to speak of ever again.
Believe it or not, the first appearance of Catwoman appeared to be more literal than the “woman in a catsuit” costumes we typically see. Granted, it’s impressive for a thief to be able to outrun the police and The Batman in high heels, but it could be because they’re too creeped out to chase a scowling anime-eyed cat head on a mustard-colored dressed woman. The red sorcerer cape was a nice touch, though.
It’s hard to root for the side of mutantkind when its self-proclaimed leader is wearing a tight, all-purple footie onesie. The opera gloves and cape don’t help, but I guess he wants to show off his shoulders and hide the rest. As you can see, there is a giant “M” on his torso, which, as you may have guessed, stands for “Magneed-a-Costume-That-Isn’t-A-Grape-Flavored-Body-Condom.”
“Hey, sport! Your mom thinks we should spend some time together, so we’re going on a birdwatching hike to get to know each other man-to-man and maybe talk about another cool dude in our posse named Jesus. Now, I’m not trying to replace your dad, but I think we’re going to be great pals! I hope you have a nice turtleneck and warm leggings like mine because there’s a chill out there, but don’t worry about snacks. My special trail mix is packed in each one of my pockets. Extra raisins! Oh, the large gold bracelets? Borrowed those from your mom.”
Adam-X The X-Treme
Whenever someone says, “It was better in the 90s,” show them this. I know what you’re thinking, but Adam-X (he’s X-Treme, you know) debuted a year before Limp Bizkit formed, so there is no way the artist could have known he was drawing Fred Durst with braids from the neck-up and WolverShredder from the neck-down. The only way to further date this character is if he was drinking a Surge and this picture was on a pog. (Ask your older sibling, kids.)
Beast, baby boy, you’re trying way too hard. First, you have Cyclops’ swim cap on. You also have Gambit’s fingerless opera gloves with odd BDSMish bracers clamped on for… reasons? Lastly, and this is common among many of your outfits, the skintight black leather capri pants were never in style nor functional. Blue fur is beautiful, bud, embrace it.
The complaints of this costume have nothing to do with how Sue Storm is a mom. Moms of all types can wear whatever they want when they have the agency to do so. The problem with this costume is that you blatantly know that the design was made with the artist's intention to ogle at the character. That’s a common issue among women characters’ costumes in comics, so that isn’t unique, but this is arguably the most blatant because the artist wanted a boob window so badly that he carved it into the 4. The nonsensical bare midriff, shoulders, and thighs only add to the silliness, especially since Sue’s husband and brother still wore a full bodysuit.
Wonder Man (Again)
Good questions, Wonder Man! This costume is from Wonder Man’s first appearance, but it’s clear that the character was created under duress. Just Stan Lee on the phone with Jack Kirby going, “I dunno, just take Cyclops and make ‘im green with red instead of blue and yella … His name ...? How about 'Wonder Man' ... Naw, the DC one is a dame; we’re good on copyright.”
Woof. Technically, the concept of Thor has no copyright, so you can really imagine him looking like anything, but that doesn’t mean you should. The cobalt blue crop top, mile-long hair, and the straps on straps on straps make Thor look less like a God of Thunder and more like a FetLife Fabio.
This is the whitest superhero outfit of all time, and this is coming from a pasty Internet writer. Where to begin? The green sportcoat tightly buckled over a red spandex bodysuit/mask combo is something a department store marketing team would come up with for “Holiday Salesman,” a non-threatening, inoffensive superhero mascot during the winter shopping season. The “Fair Play” sign just feels like this guy is a grown-up hall monitor begging criminals to fight fair, even though the most minor henchman could give him a wedgie.
Did you know Raven from the Teen Titans was a sea creature? Neither did I! She’s aqua-colored (like a raven), has purple claws (like a raven), and has a giant seashell for a face (again, like a standard raven). This New 52 outfit, like most of DC’s New 52 itself, just plain doesn’t work.
Much like with Wonder Man’s first appearance, it’s not good when the character themself criticizes the costume they choose to keep wearing. The yellow pirate shirt and tiara are questionable choices, even by 1972 standards. Also, the battleship anchor chain around his waist must be incredibly cumbersome. That said, I wouldn’t be surprised if Cage chose to keep wearing this silly outfit so racist cops would see him as less of a threat.
Black Canary is a kickass character, and this outfit is anything but. It looks like it was made out of stretched-out Fantastic Four uniforms and black velvet. The biggest lowlights are Canary’s baggy Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtleneck and swashbuckler high heels. You know a costume is bad when there is a comic book cover dedicated to burning it.
Bill Finger: “Fellas, I came up with a new Batman villain named ‘Killer Moth.’ I’ll leave it to you two for concept art.”
*Bill leaves the room, Lew Schwartz and Dick Sprang look at each other*
Lew: “Okay, what does a moth look like again?”
Dick: “They’re green bees, right?”
Lew: “I think they’re mauve?”
Dick: “Let’s do both just in case. Wings?”
Lew: “Not sure. Cape should cover our asses either way, though.”
Hawkeye has been given so much crap over his costumes over the years (justifiably so) but this one is the absolute worst. If the purple mixed in with the Ancient Greek tunic doesn’t make you think of a pornographic Conan the Barbarian comic then the deep, deep, deep V-neck pointing at his pantless crotch will.
Goddammit Wonder Man
No, no, no, just no! Does he-- Is that a jetpack? We have a tiara and a bolder “W”, and there’s just a lot going on. Also, he’s not scrumptious, Tigra! While there have been more heinous costumes, this one tops it off by being so reviled in the letters to the editor that it had to be addressed in the comic itself.
So the moral of all of this? Never be Wonder Man.
Top Image: Warner Bros.