Wario. Mario's shitty ... Cousin? Uncle? Frenemy? The most sinful Mario Partier, and by extension the most realistic, has a mysterious past for a Nintendo character with such a long history. Wario first appeared in Super Mario Land 2: 6 Golden Coins in 1992 …

… and despite getting his own series, appearing in major spin-offs like Smash Bros., and having his own gangly costar I still know almost nothing about him.

Wario is invited to the major events in Mario's life, Go-Karting, Golfing, and Parties … then goes back to his totally separate life with his twins, robots, and farts. Wario, we are led to believe, leaves work at work.

But over the last 29 years of public life, a question has arisen about Wario’s nationality. That’s right; although Mario is definitely an Italian plumber, Wario may be from a little further north. In the first two Mario Party games when characters lose a minigame they say something negative and catchy, like “WAAAAAAA.” Wario’s phrase, although often misheard as “Oh, I’m pissed!” by English speakers, is actually the German phrase, “So ein Mist!” 

Roughly translated this means “What a piece of shit!” which is pretty in keeping with Wario’s vulgar personality. (To be honest, it’s surprising we haven’t heard Wario swear in English yet.)

There’s been debate about which phrase (“Oh I’m pissed” or “So ein Mist”) Wario actually says, but Thomas Spindler, the voice actor for Wario in both games, confirmed that Wario is saying the German phrase. Says Spindler, “Wario speaks German: he says (or rather, *I* say) ‘So ein Mist!’” Spindler goes on to clarify that this wasn’t a personal choice, “The concept behind Wario was that of a German character and those responsible for the voice-overs at Nintendo back then intended him to speak German.“ 

Recently the Nintendo team has decided to lean into casting Wario as Italian, and in recent Mario games, Wario’s Italian accent is even more believable than Mario’s. But it’s too late, the die is cast. The voice actor spoke. We know that Wario was German which means he’s German still, not Italian like Mario.

Mario being Italian and Wario being German at least implies that the two are, at best, distant relatives, and it explains why Wario has a separate life and only visits when the whole family gets together. What it doesn’t explain is how come I’ve been all over Mario’s worlds and at this point his whole freaking galaxy and never seen Italy or Germany. I mean,  you’re really telling me that Wario isn’t grabbing a stein after a long day of minigames? He’s not taking that go-kart on the Autobahn? Why aren’t you building up this part of your universe?

And if Wario really is German shouldn’t his name sound like Vario? Vario and… Valuigi? Oh geez, it hurts to even type this. Vario! Valuigi! Vat a Vorld.

Top Image:

Get More Comedy: Sign up for ComedyNerd

The ComedyNerd newsletter is your weekly look at the world of stand up, sketch, and more. Sign up now!

Forgot Password?