5 Online Games Players Won In The Dumbest Ways Possible
No matter how cleanly a game's tutorial spells out the rules, there will always be those players who will master a game by punching a random tree 10,000 times until reality glitches out and the sky suddenly starts raining bazookas. Today, we pay tribute to those doughty souls who, for reasons known only to themselves and their maker, refuse to play online games like ordinary people.
Valheim Players Make Their Vikings Fly
Valheim is an incredibly cozy Viking simulator. The game offers players a lot of exploring to do, probably in an attempt to make up for the lack of murdering and pillaging options that actual Viking times offered. Now, if there's one thing we know about Viking exploration in real life, it's that they started off by walking, then learned how to ride horses, then began building boats, then started building horses, then planes, then rockets that took them to space. But Valheimers just didn't have time for that, so they went from walking to straight-up reaching for the stars. How? By using slingshots, of course.
The approach is simple; you need two people, one that'll have the boring task of just pulling, and one that'll have the fun task of getting impaled with a harpoon and then flung up a ramp to the skies. What began as a hilarious way to traverse rivers turned into a serious way to reach new islands. The good part is that whether or not players survive, they'll definitely make it to Valhalla.
Win PUBG By Becoming Immortal And Waiting For Everybody Else To Die
PlayerUnknown's Battlegrounds popularized the genre where you'd either kill the better part of a 99-enemy pool (or hide cravenly until you can deliver the final blow). But, for a while, people were actually beating PUBG in a peaceful manner. This obviously doesn't mean that they just threw their guns away and hugged it out, but that they found a way to become invisible while taking 0 damage when outside the safe zone. In the screenshot below, there are two players left alive, but only one of them is visible.
This glitch is certainly responsible for many unfair wins and a high surge in drywall holes. And since all things Fortnite come from someone putting something from other battle royale games into a Toys “R” Us Xerox machine, Fortnite players naturally also found a way to bring that exploit to the game. Players just had to land on the Slurpy Swamp (yes Mr. One Person Who Doesn't Play Fortnite, that's an actual location), and try to go through a wall. This is the closest you'll get to a superhero origin story on Fortnite, as your character will constantly regenerate their health for no reason.
Red Dead Redemption 2's Cougar Corpse Factory
Robbing trains in Red Dead Redemption 2 ends up getting old, so a lot of players are now enjoying the stability of the cougar breeding economy of Red Dead Redemption Online. And no, they aren't building a giant army of big cats to train them to murder people like a crazed frontier Joe Exotic. If you would perhaps want to try that, we've heard from somebody else that you should go with bears instead.
These strapping young lads are actually cloning cougars to sell them to local butchers who have an inexplicable never-ending need for cougar carcasses. It's pretty lucrative, and the best part is how it's also completely ethical, because the cloned cougars are already dead.
Interestingly, in what definitely isn't a parallel to real life we should be concerned about, players have complained that the infinite-cougar market has become so huge that it has caused entire goddamn servers to slow down to a crawl. This feels like the ballsy sequel (prequel?) we deserve to the Lester Crest's glitch from Grand Theft Auto V, where GTA players became magnates by Karen-ing their way into getting infinite refunds.
Dominate Call Of Duty: Warzone And PUBG Sandworm Style
One of the most challenging aspects of a battle royale is making sure every new area you enter is clear to avoid getting assassinated by some coward. Up until now, however, you didn't really need to look underneath the ground, but war has changed. Warzone's most recent map added the layer of difficulty that was missing, as now players can burrow underground and snipe unsuspecting (and even suspecting) players because they're pretty much invisible anyway. Reddit user WeeabooDude762 showed a simple glitch that players can use to become the monster from Tremors.
To add insult to injury, players have found out that the glitch also allows players to use the zipline to get back above ground as soon as they get tired of being dicks. A similar glitch also popped up in PlayerUnknown's Battlegrounds, because some days you just need to become a moleman and shoot an unsuspecting stranger in the perineum.
Counterstrike Shows You The Meaning Of Using Guns In Self Defense
In most shooting games, the best way to win is to just kill your enemy before they kill you. But even if you're a total badass, there will come a time when you have to reload, and that might raise a few problems. When you're getting shot and don't have the possibility of returning fire – or the cowardice required to take cover – your life will usually depend on the enemy's ability to hit their target. Counter-Strike: Global Offensive, however, offers a dumb alternative.
If you are badass enough to throw your gun at your opponent when he's shooting at you, then your life will depend on your ability to ... hit their bullets with your gun. If the enemy fire hits your weapon, the bullets will either end up deflected or deal a significantly smaller amount of damage. Rather ironic, as one of the things the original Counter-Strike brought to the table was object-piercing bullets.
That guy who said that the best defense is a good offense? He probably wasn't talking about this, but yeah, turns out that a gun -- and even C4 -- can work as a shield.
Tiago is waiting on Twitter for you to tell him about cool exploits you've discovered.