The Man Who Was Killed By His Own Beard

A 16th-century Dutch mayor named Hans Staininger had the most magnificent face full of whiskers the world had ever seen — a hirsute magnificence that ultimately proved to be his undoing

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Pickle-Ranch Pizza Is Apparently A Thing, And It Is Cursed As Hell

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On today's installment of experimental chefs continuing to defile the sanctity of pizza, it seems pineapples may have finally met their match in the battle for which pizza-bastardizing topping reigns supreme – none other than the salty, briny, vinegar snap of pickles. Earlier this week, a viral Insider video reemerged depicting Rhino Pizza's strange process behind their “Big Dill” pizza, topping a crust with homemade garlic sauce, mozzarella, and dill pickles and a sprinkling of dill seasoning – and per their recommendation, a squirt or two of ranch dressing.

Despite sounding certifiably terrible, apparently, it's a hit –  “People have been coming from all over – Buffalo, Syracuse, Pennsylvania,” chef at the of the upstate New York-based eatery, Cindy Arena explained when the dish first went viral in 2018, noting its particular popularity among pregnant women. 

…and denouncing the sordid pie. 

… with New Jersey's official state Twitter chiming in on the matter, gracefully throwing a dig at New York's famed – albeit second to Chicago's deep-dish/tavern-style pizza offerings – slices.  

So folks, remember – although pineapples (and occasionally apology M&Ms if you're dating a Genovian princess in an early 2000s coming-of-age comedy) definitively belong on pizza, pickles are best left as sandwich accouterment. Dill with it. 

For more internet nonsense, follow Carly on Instagram at @HuntressThompson_, on Twitch.tv @HuntressThompson_ and on Twitter @TennesAnyone.

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