New Year's Eve is fast approaching, and with it comes new resolutions, a new start, and a deluge of New Year's Eve themed TV marathons/curated content from streaming providers that we'll be bombarded with whether we like it or not. It's a time-honored tradition with any holiday for networks to cram as much themed content into your eye-gullets as possible, but it becomes disturbing on New Years' because of one particular episode. Of course, I'm talking about the season 6 episode of Friends where Ross and his sister Monica attend a taping for Dick Clark's New Year's Rockin' Eve and perform what may be the most uncomfortable dance in television history. Here it is below, but brace yourself lest you cringe so hard your skull shatters in half.
Friends has always had a weird, sexual undercurrent going on between Ross and Monica. There has been inappropriate hand-holding and lap-sitting galore. But these 57 seconds is the culmination of all of that creepiness packed together. Obviously, the dance itself is plenty creepy enough. No brother and sister should ever be straddling each other in dance or otherwise, but the moments of none physical contact might be even worse. The way Monica and Ross were looking at each other while doing the baby shark dance would've made Cersei and Jaime Lannister blush.
So many questions spring to mind: What did Monica mean when she said, "Mom and Dad are going to be so faced" at the beginning? Is "faced" the feeling of learning your daughter and son have been banging since childhood? Because, yeah, mom and dad are going to be plenty "faced" after watching that video. Was Ross trying to brush his fingers against Monica's boob at the end of the video? Or does he just think throwing your arm over your sister's shoulder and dangling your fingers precipitously close to her breast to be a normal, platonic act between siblings that would knock us off the "these two are going to 69 later" trail?
I don't know the answers, but I show you this atrocity not merely to shock you with its horrors or to wow you with its mysteries. I show this to you as a warning so that you may protect yourself during a TBS marathon. Happy New Year.
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Top Image: NBC