On today's episode of absurd stories with even more absurd headlines, a teenage girl from Japan has taken dating bad boys to a whole new level, going on a romantic outing with the world-famous fictional monster, Godzilla (and to think my mom judges me for having a massive crush on the "troubled young man" that is Pete Davidson). 13-year-old Seira Watanabe is a certifiable Godzilla superfan, complete with an expansive collection of figurines and an impressive roar. Yet, she found herself wanting to her take her admiration for the iconic building-destroying monster to the next level.
But how exactly do you go about asking one of the world's most popular lizardy villains on a date? By writing into Osaka's popular television show, Tantei! Knight Scoop, which aims to help viewers live their wildest dreams -- which apparently sometimes include going steady with Godzilla or more. "My love is so great that I would like to marry Godzilla," the teen wrote. Normally, I'd add some quip here, drawing comparisons to questionable people I've dated over the years to the terror of literal Godzilla. However, considering that Seira is still a teen and that I spent all three of my middle school years thoroughly obsessed with Gerard Way of My Chemical Romance, Kristen Stewart as Joan Jett in The Runaways, and literally any boy with a swoop-y aughts haircut, I am definitely not in any position to judge.
Yet unlike me in the late 2010s, Seira was actually able to live her teenage dating dreams. On Tantei! Knight Scoop's most recent episode, she was greeted with the surprise of a lifetime -- Godzilla himself was at her door, ready to take her out on a romantic date. Like any of us would, she immediately fell at the sight of him, hyperventilating as she swooned over her new monster beau. After collecting herself, grabbing a homemade bento-box lunch, and her grandfather to chaperone the affair, the duo visited the Godzilla Museum, holding hands as they wandered through the exhibition.
They then enjoyed a couples lunch, er, well as she ate lunch and pretended to feed the monster snacks and tea (he only consumes radiation, according to Godzilla Fandom user, The King of the Monsters) before saying their goodbyes on a beach as the sun set off in the distance. After a hug and a kiss on the, um, beak, Seira decided to pop the question, asking for Godzilla's hand in marriage. Unfortunately, he declined, likely too busy destroying cities to settle down. You can't win 'em all, girl.
Godzilla may certainly be the "baddest boy," according to my boss, but he actually seems like a pretty stand-up monster. Oh, and mom, if you're reading this, please stop judging me for my massive crush on Pete Davidson -- I could have literally dated Godzilla on national television.
Top Image: Gif Via Kotaku.