How NYC Sex Clubs Stay Open With Social Distancing Laws

If social distancing and sex were compatible concepts then long-distance relationships would be famously successful and your friends would be telling you "go for it!," without a shred of irony when you professed you had a crush on a random spambot named "Jassica" who messaged your account promising "good pix and mor." Sadly, sex is usually better when you're able to have sex, and that's bad news for New York City's sex clubs because COVID-19 has virtually rendered person-to-person HUMAN-69 impossible.

Fortunately for the freaky, the NYC sex club, NSFW, is doing their damndest to stay open for business anyway. How can a sex club, where you rub your nasty bits against the nasty bits of strangers be considered a phase 2 activity when it's a battle to even get a haircut? Well, for NSFW, you won't be rubbing any parts with strangers. Said NSFW founder, Daniel Saynt:

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"We had to figure out how to do this in the safest way possible, where no one feels at risk or in danger, but can still enjoy themselves. We have enough room to give each other space, so we're asking members to engage in a 'no new play' policy, which means come and play with a partner and experience NSFW for the exhibitionist and voyeuristic sides of it. Throughout the clubhouse, there's additional hand sanitizer and toy cleaners at sanitization stations."

Basically, you'll be able to show up with your current partner and "perform" alongside, but not with, other already approved groups. It's kind of like participating in one big synchronized dance, except instead of an audience applauding during the end of your big finish, there's one dude furiously masturbating in the corner in preparation for his own big finish. On the surface, it seems like one of the saddest things imaginable. Bringing your significant other to a swingers club only at the end of the night to end up stuck with that significant other feels like the sexual equivalent to being picked last in gym. But, as Daniel Saynt already pointed out, there's definitely the exhibitionist and voyeuristic aspects to consider. Certainly, while you're there, you could also experiment with other NYC approved activities such as gloryholes (thanks DeBlasio!) provided the only surprise waiting on the other side of the wall is from a pre-approved partner.

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Still, the thought of a sex club, even one set up mostly for voyeurism and only allowing 20 members to attend in person at a time, seems risky right now. Isn't there the worry that you'll catch COVID from any of the wayward fluids that could be flying around or splooged over? NSFW feels they've got that handled as well. Says professional dominatrix, the Domme Kat, "When you walk in, there's a bowl of masks, a bowl of black gloves and hand sanitizer, so everyone has access to it right away. And everything is cleaned like crazy."

So there you go. Anything is possible in quarantine with enough hand sanitizer and space, even a sex club. Good luck trying to shop at a Trader Joes though.

Support Dan on Twitter and he will talk about his life with you in lieu of getting a therapist.

Top Image: Espressolia/Pixabay, innamikitas/Pixabay

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