The (Dumb) Reason Superman Was Sent To Earth

Quick, why did Superman's dad send him to Earth of all places? The DC universe is full of inhabited planets, some so similar to Krypton that they're probably infringing some intergalactic copyright law. Was it the resilience of the human spirit? Our ability to create touching works of art? Our wonderful cuisine? Nope, the answer is ... the glistening musclemen of the American Grain Belt.

Good thing he didn't go with <i>Ar</i>kansas, or that might have been a shirtless Bill Clinton.DC ComicsGood thing he didn't go with Arkansas, or that might have been a shirtless Bill Clinton.

Continue Reading Below

Advertisement

In The Man of Steel #1 from 1986, Super-dad Jor-El shows Super-mom Lara a typical resident of the planet they're soon rocketing their Super-baby to, and it happens to be a half-naked Kansas farmer/bodybuilder who apparently always poses like he's secretly being photographed by aliens. (Superman's mom is horrified and/or mildly aroused.) This is no coincidence, since Jor-El even calculated the trajectory of the rocket so that it'd land in a similar (or maybe even the same) Kansas field. Therefore, Jor-El's reasoning is obvious: he saw that guy, assumed America was a nation full of perfectly sculpted Adonises wearing cool hats, and thought, "Ah yes, my demigod child will fit in perfectly here." He was wrong, of course -- most Americans no longer wear hats. Other than that, spot on.

Continue Reading Below

Advertisement

On the next page, Jor-El admits there's a possibility his son will "rule" this planet like "a supreme being." It's clear that he envisioned armies of manazons with glistening pecs bowing down to Kal-El, hunkiest among hunks. In short, if one unusually jacked farmer hadn't decided to work on his tan one day, Superman might have ended up on a planet of broccoli-headed people or something and Earth would have been conquered by Lex Luthor or Gorilla Grodd ten times over. All of mankind is in your debt, hot farmer guy! Here's hoping you remembered to wear sunscreen, or you're definitely dead by now.

Follow Maxwell Yezpitelok's heroic effort to read and comment every '90s Superman comic at Superman86to99.tumblr.com. Now on Patreon, with exclusive articles about Superman-related weirdness!

Top Image: DC Comics

To turn on reply notifications, click here

13 Comments

Load Comments