So Far, Quibi Is Absolute Trash

A lot of us are desperately clamoring for something to do right now. But if you were looking to Quibi, a new short-form video platform created by Dreamworks founder Jeffrey Katzenberg, to eat up some of your empty hours, we're sorry to report that you're more likely to be entertained by stacking your toenail clippings. But it's not just Quibi's mediocre content that makes it hard to get on board. (And don't just take it as mediocre from us.) It's the shitty business practices that are the real stars of the show here.

To start us off we have Memory Hole, a new show by Quibi, hosted by "big-name-famous-person" Will Arnett, that has been accused of plagiarism by Everything is Terrible's 2014 show of the exact same name. And the evidence is pretty damning. Besides taking the name outright, the logo and concept are also similar, prompting us to wonder if they were even trying. Couldn't they have at least called it something like "Remembrance Gap" or "Recollection Space" to throw the lawyers off the scent?

Next, we have to address Murder House Flip. This Quibi original examines the fascinating struggle realtors face to sell homes where murders have taken place. It is somehow not a comedic parody of HGTV and Discovery ID shows. In the right hands, maybe there was a slim chance that this could be a well-done show. But Quibi is not the right hands and is displaying the dexterity of your dog trying to do surgery, as the pilot episode is about the home of a murdered 10-year-old-child actor.

And finally, there are the accusations that Quibi exists to circumvent Hollywood union rules. Basically, the argument is that Quibi's pay scale probably doesn't face the same restrictions because the content is shorter.

Now, purely from a consumer's perspective this might not seem like much of a big deal. Yeah, some Hollywood equipment guys might be getting low-balled, but that's their problem right? Well, no. If true, and the Quibi model succeeds by delivering mediocre content on a mediocre app, then bigger studios are going to invest less in making quality movies and more in finding ways to screw over workers. What we're saying is that a strong Hollywood union is the difference between companies pushing to make the Bojack Horsemans and not settling for Will Arnett looking at random clips from the '80s.

Top Image: Quibi