If Everybody On 'The Masked Singer' Is A Singer, Then Why Should We Care?

'The Masked Singer' is at its best when it makes us figure out who the non-singers are, and it'd be nice to see one win.
If Everybody On 'The Masked Singer' Is A Singer, Then Why Should We Care?

Fox is now in the early stages of its 3rd season of its hit show The Masked Singer, having just unmasked its 5th contestant last night as of this writing. It's such a hit that it was able to crank out that many episodes in the span of *checks calendar* a little over a year. And oh man, is it a lot of fun. The clues range from cute to tricky. The costumes look like something out of Julie Taymor's dream journal. The judges and guests brilliantly toe the line between having a good time and taking their guesses seriously. But holy crap you guys, there's just too many actual singers on this show. Here, check out the reveal of the winner from Season 1. Uh, spoiler alerts?

The judges had a real hard time with him, but T-Pain is a damn good singer. Have you heard the man's
Tiny Desk Concert? T-Pain was kind of a forgivable choice for the show, because heavy autotune is most of his shtick as an artist. But the runner-up that season? Donny freaking Osmond. Everyone in America who can -- bare minimum, here -- picture the iconic "LET'S get DOWN to BIZ-ness!" line from Mulan knows what Donny Osmond sounds like, and Jenny McCarthy had him nailed down practically all season. Holy hell, the top 7 finishers that season had some kind of professional vocal background.

Season 2 actually brought us the platonic ideal of what this show is supposed to be doing, with NBA player Victor Oladipo. The timing was perfect -- Oladipo was in injury recovery at the time, which left him available for filming, and he was a hell of a good singer. Seriously, the man's got great range.

The problem was,
he took fifth place. You know who the next guy eliminated after Oladipo was? Seal. Yes, "Kiss From A Rose" Seal, and no, I can't name any other Seal songs. Which, fine, because you know who else was around that Oladipo had to beat earlier in the season? Michelle Williams of Destiny's Child. And Michelle Williams beat out, and this is absolutely true, Patti LaBelle. He might as well have won a one-on-one against Michael Jordan and LeBron James (who himself was rumored to be the Taco on this most recent season before we actually heard him). The season 2 winner was Wayne Brady, who was in Kinky Boots on Broadway. Clearly the man can do more than make a deal with Midwestern tourists on daytime TV.

That's too many actual, killer singers for the Oladipos of this show to be up against, and Season 3 is not off to the best start on that front. Again, light spoilers here for anyone who cares, but they've already eliminated a sports star, two singers, and a rapper, which means there's likely even more actual singers yet to come. Backstreet Boy Nick Carter has admitted in an interview that one of the costumes of this season was created for him (and if you hear it sing, it's definitely a late-90s boy band member), but he turned it down, claiming he was too busy.

The most fun part of this show, at least to those of us who enjoy crossword puzzles and celebrity trivia, is solving the mystery of who's under the masks. For those of us who are more musically inclined, it's like watching a horror movie and waiting for the predictable moment where the lead character's girlfriend gets snatched up. All the fun people are gone too soon and the survivors are getting predictable. This show is at its best when we have to figure out who the non-singers are, and it'd be nice to see one win.

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