Donald Trump Will Walk On Mars In An Upcoming Dean Cain Movie


The words "political comedy" are a harbinger of nightmares to come, and that's especially true of an upcoming movie that will star the worst Superman and current Christian film star Dean Cain. Being Trump promises to go beyond "all the propaganda to depict to the real Donald Trump." It's going to do that by cutting through all the bullshit and lies spun by the LAMEstream media by telling a riveting tale about Donald Trump being the first person to walk on Mars.

"You look so familiar. In which bodybuilding/sex expert magazines have I seen you before?"

I realize it seems like a tab of acid kicked in just as I hit the end of that sentence, but I assure you that's exactly how the movie's GoFundMe page describes it. It goes on to reveal that the film's dilemma centers around how our founding fathers "never imagined a sitting president leaving the planet" and then offers the film's wacky solution of finding "a look-alike to fill in for a few days." (I'm assuming the writer drunkenly passed out while Dave and Total Recall were on HBO.)

It's through this grounded story spearheaded by what will most assuredly be Dean Cain's stellar performance as Trump (and probably also his stand-in back on earth as real-Trump drags his unusually long ties across the rusty surface of Mars) that we will finally learn a little something about our famously tightlipped president. Though, there is a good chance that we may never get to see this masterpiece in the making. Being Trump's GoFundMe page has been up since December but has only raised $190 of its $10,000 goal as I write this. It's like you ungrateful bastards don't even want to watch a movie made by a bunch of sycophants who indulge every one of Trump's vilest egocentric impulses in the never-ending contest to see who can kiss his ass the hardest.

Luis can be found on Twitter and Facebook. Check out his regular contributions to Macaulay Culkin's and his "Meditation Minute" segments on the Bunny Ears podcast. And now you can listen to the first episode on Youtube!

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