'The Goop Lab' Nails The Science Of Scamming Wealthy Women

With leaving hobbies and acting to people who actually give a shit, Gwyneth Paltrow finally has time to dedicate herself to her true passion, giving women terrible advice. And now, she's taking her dodgy vagina rocks on the road, launching an investigative show squarely aimed at people who want to Netflix and Chill with their tennis instructors.

The Goop Lab, formerly the dog they tested their holistic ointments on, has about to launch on Netflix. On it, Paltrow and her fellow alternative Goopies go out and "explore ideas that may seem out there or too scary" like being exorcised, doing cold therapy, or having an orgasm. But this isn't your parent's hyper-aspirational bait for women with too much money (that'd be Vogue), because The Goop Show prides itself on being "dangerous" and "unregulated." They even say the f-word like they're trying to sound cool in front of their fourth husband's teenage kids.

In case it's not obvious, The Goop Lab is an oxymoron (which also what Goop calls people who don't exclusively breathe their Tibetan Healing Air). Science is about the last thing on the mind of these aspirational cultists at Goop, a publication that incidentally has had to pay $140,000 in court settlements after a judge punished them for peddling products with "unsubstantiated claims."

And while Paltrow herself blames Goop's incredibly duplicitous and potentially harmful practices on the mistakes of "a little startup," one that was worth a quarter of a billion dollars at the time, and that they've all learned a lot since ... 2018. But sure seems that The Goop Lab hasn't learned its lesson with Paltrow diving right back into making dangerous claims such as that taking psychedelics is like "years of therapy in five hours" or how psychic mediums because "knew something my husband didn't even know" and great we're back to talking about Gwyneth Paltrow's orgasms.

For more weird tangents and advice on where to stick your healing crystals, do follow Cedric on Twitter.