Gwyneth Paltrow Also Can't Wait For Her To Be Done Acting

After years of successfully pretending to be a woman who's into dudes with Van Dykes, Gwyneth Paltrow is now branching out, acting-wise. Sort of. In Netflix's The Politician, Paltrow plays an upper-class woman who can't speak two sentences without sounding like a fake Sylvia Plath quote. But why pretend when you can just be? (This is, incidentally, something that both Paltrow and her character would say.)

In a recent interview with Variety, Paltrow's Politician co-star Ben Platt described acting opposite her as quite the rush ... in that she rushes through every scene because she "doesn't have time," what with her many other projects. Paltrow apparently doesn't the hide the fact that she only took the role because her husband, the show's co-creator Brad Falchuck, begged her to do so. So she won't let the Netflix show get in the way of her various ventures -- specifically the one wherein she peddles vaginal pebbles and vegan deodorant through her third-wife blog Goop. And that apparently means only doing a handful of takes, refusing lengthy monologues, and wrangling an on-set meeting with Goop staffers to talk about their upcoming fall line of aspirational toddler wear.

Continue Reading Below

Advertisement

But being one step away from just wearing an earpiece or telling Platt to have her lines written on his back probably has more to do with Paltrow's other big passion: letting people know she's totally over acting. She hasn't been in anything but Marvel movies for the past half decade. And in recent months, Paltrow has been dropping not-so-subtle hints that the chakra crystal that oxygenates her heart is not in it anymore. That includes not bothering to know which Marvel movies she stars in, and downright forgetting the names and faces of actors she has been on set with. So at least us folk who don't read Goop finally have something in common with Paltrow: We'd prefer that she just stick with Goop full-time.

Continue Reading Below

Advertisement

For more weird tangents and his personal recipes for toilet wine, do follow Cedric on Twitter.

For more, check out Kanye Is Removing All The Hecking Cusses From His Tracks and Rats Can Drive Now, Thanks To Froot Loops And Science.

Also, we'd love to know more about you and your interesting lives, dear readers. If you spend your days doing cool stuff, drop us a line at iDoCoolStuff at Cracked dot com, and maybe we can share your story with the entire internet.

Follow us on Facebook. Or don't. It's your life.