6 Shockingly Huge Stockpiles of Stuff

6

The Government Has A Massive Stash Of Weed (And It's Making The University Of Mississippi Hold It)

Quick, who do you think has the most weed right now? Snoop Dogg? Willie Nelson? Bill Gates? While all these infamous potheads' stashes are probably very impressive, they'll never compare to the chronically chronicked, the biggest doobie brother, the O.G. reefer madman: Uncle Sam himself.

U.S. Army"I want YOU to hit this shizz, bro."

At any given time, the government has several thousands of pounds of Mary Jane stockpiled in a single location. And they don't confiscate this; they've been in the weed farming business for decades. In 2019, they grew their largest bumper crop in five years, an eye-watering 2,000 kilos, or about 5 million joints' worth of sticky icky.

And where is this Fort Knox of fine stuff? Where most weed is: within a 50-foot radius of a dorm. All official U.S. weed is grown, processed, and sold through the University of Mississippi campus. The school has held the exclusive contract to grow government ganja since 1968 -- 44 years before anyone else was allowed to. But the government isn't addicted; it's just for experimentation. Since this weed is the only FDA-approved weed, anyone researching the effects of cannabis has to buy the government-controlled version of the substance, making Uncle Sam the world's oldest pot dealer by a wide margin.

So what do U of M students think about studying atop one of the biggest pot farms in the land? According to the university growers, it's "a source of great interest on campus," probably because some genius thought it was smart to put the fields right next to student housing. On a completely unrelated note, only about 48% of Ole Miss students manage to graduate within four years.

5

The Military Had Depots Full Of Leftover Purple Hearts From World War II

Because Hallmark doesn't make a "Sorry we got you shot" card, Purple Heart medals are issued to any U.S. soldier wounded or killed in the line of duty. And when it was time to plan a ground invasion of Japan in 1945, the brass figured they were going to need a lot more of 'em. However, Japan surrendered after the atomic bombings, negating the need for any such invasion, which left the military with a surplus of 495,000 Purple Hearts -- a third of all made during the war. So in 1946, they had half a million medals and no bullet-riddled chests to pin them on. But they knew one thing for sure: Those hearts were going to get used ... eventually.

U.S. Military"This belongs to my grandpa. I mean, I got it in Iraq, but it should've been his."

4

The United States Squeezed Grape Farmers For A National Raisin Reserve

Even if we don't know or care about the details, we can take comfort in the fact that the government is making plans for the really critical stuff, should disaster ever strike. And that is what allows us to look our children in the eye and tell them to never fear, for they will never run out of wrinkled grapes.

PiqselsCollected from the bottoms of a billion trick-or-treat bags.

3

The U.S. Is Still Sitting On Several Billion Pounds Of Federal Cheese

Dairy, like any other commodity, has its fat years and its 2% years. The problem is that, unlike an oil pipeline, you can't just turn cows off and on like faucets. So when the market takes a dive, billions of gallons of unsold milk start building up, ready to drown the U.S. in a creamy tsunami.

2

China Has An Emergency Pig Reserve To Stop The Porkchopalypse

The people of China really, really love their pork chops. The country is now the world's largest producer and consumer of pork, pigging out on 57 metric tons a year -- more than half of the pork eaten on the entire planet. So whenever China threatens to run out of sweet sausages, the government makes sure it has plenty of good meat on ice in their facilities. And no, we're not talking about the organs of executed prisoners.

PeakpxThey feed those to the pigs.

Pork is perhaps the most important commodity in the country. A sudden decrease in supply (and increase in price) could not only cause mass civil unrest, but also singlehandedly mess up the inflation rate. No wonder, then, that the Chinese government has built up strategic reserves of bacon since the '70s. And although the exact number of emergency pigs is blanketed in state secrecy, experts estimate the National Pork Reserve holds hundreds of thousands of metric tons, both in the form of frozen meat and live hogs.

1

Canada Has A $30 Million Strategic Maple Syrup Reserve

You probably know that the United States has a Strategic Petroleum Reserve -- stockpiles of millions of barrels to safeguard our unending thirst for crude oil. No surprise, then, that our neighbors in the Great White North have a similar strategy, but for syrup. That's right, Canada is sitting on a 8,000 metric ton stash of sticky goodness, the Strategic Maple Syrup Reserve. But they're not very polite about sharing.

PxfuelSmooth, not crude.