Laugh At Children Falling In The New 'Star Wars' Game Show
Everyone should know this simple, undeniable truth: there is not a thing Star Wars cannot be. If it can be underwear, if it can be waffle irons, it can be anything, and now that includes a Legends Of The Hidden Temple-style children's game show.
Star Wars: Jedi Temple Challenge will air exclusively on Disney+, thus sweetening the pot for adult subscribers who can't wait to watch children trip and eat shit halfway through a Dagobah obstacle course, their padawan robes flailing and fluttering in the wind as their teeth collide with a droid or whatever. But as fun as that will be for us to watch, it will be even better for the guy they got to host it.
The parade of cathartic physical challenge failures the children will have to endure on their quest to achieve the rank of Jedi Knight by episode's end will be hosted by Ahmed Best, aka the guy who played Jar Jar Binks.
Finally, after being the butt of overzealous fan hatred for years, Jar Jar will get his revenge by putting on that famous Jar Jar voice and becoming the enduring soundtrack of a Star Wars fan's failures. The entire show should be set up as an elaborate Star Wars-themed puzzle dungeon with the sole goal of delivering a constant stream of pure, uncut schadenfreude directly into Ahmed Best's veins.
As such, if the kids aren't forced to swing on vines and perform great leaps with an appropriately weighted and appropriately nagging Yoda on their backs, then this show has no right to exist. If the producers don't plan on having blindfolded children swat at BBs fired by a nimble drone darting around them, then just cancel it now. If, during the general knowledge trivia round, those weiner kids can't name the Outer Rim planetoid on which Luke and Leia were born, they should be ridiculed for not instantly recalling that it was, in fact, Polis Massa, which, for extra points, George Lucas designed as an homage to the Clavius moon base in 2001: A Space Odyssey.
If Ahmed Best doesn't drive home with a huge grin after a long day of laughing at the misfortune of Star Wars fans, then, really, what's the point?
Luis can be found on Twitter and Facebook. Check out his regular contributions to Macaulay Culkin's BunnyEars.com. Check out his "Meditation Minute" segments on the Bunny Ears podcast. Check out the first episode on Youtube!
May our Facebook page be with you.