5

Megan Fox's "Archaeology" Documentary

It's been so long since we've seen Megan Fox in a movie that you may have forgotten her face (you definitely forgot her acting). But Fox has finally returned to the screen ... as a documentarian?

Turns out Fox is quite interested in history (she did call Michael Bay "Hitler" that one time), and now hosts her own nonfiction archaeological series called Legends Of The Lost With Megan Fox. Premiering in 2018, the show follows a globetrotting Fox in her best Indiana-Jones-by-way-of-Forever-21 outfit, bending over artifacts while esteemed historians try not to let their eyes wander.

Travel Channel"This must be what it feels like to direct a Transformers movie."

4

Corey Feldman Claimed He Was Stabbed By A Mysterious Gang

They say it's better to live fast and die young, but there's no worse poster child for that mantra than former Lost Boy Corey Feldman, who's been dying young for about 30 years. So it wasn't surprising that he recently wound up in a hospital. But the story of how he got there was a little tough to swallow.

In March of 2018, Feldman tweeted a picture of himself in what appeared to be a hospital bed with the all-caps announcement that he was "ATTACKED 2NITE." He wrote that he had been stabbed in the gut, likely by his longtime nemeses the "WOLFPACK." The LAPD was already treating it as an attempted homicide. But while his fans flooded Feldman with well-wishes (seriously?), many others wanted answers to questions. Questions like "Is this real?" and "Since when do they allow vaping in hospitals?"

Corey Feldman/TwitterAt least they took away the crack pipe.

3

Tennis Throwback Boris Becker Pretended To Be A Diplomat To Avoid Bankruptcy

Boris Becker knows how to do two things: play tennis and destroy money. He lived an expensive lifestyle, had an expensive love child, and his even more expensive divorce brought Boom Boom Becker back in the news when a British court declared him bankrupt in 2017. But Becker had one more ace to play: massive identity fraud.

When Becker refused to cooperate with the courts, they seized his stuff and to sell it to the highest bidder. The forced auction was about to take place when Becker halted the proceedings by claiming diplomatic immunity. You see, they weren't prosecuting Boris Becker, faded tennis star, but rather Boris Becker, untouchable Central African Republic attache to the European Union on sporting, cultural, and humanitarian affairs. Easy mistake to make.

Via DW.com"The, uh, flash was really bright."

2

The Old Voice Of Charlie Brown Went On An Epic Crime Spree

Peter Robbins started acting at the tender age of seven, and landed several spots playing lovable brats on various family sitcoms. Then he got his biggest break of all as the voice of Charlie Brown in the beloved Peanuts TV specials. After being booted out of Hollywood at the age of 14, Robbins fell off the celebrity map for about 40 years. But in 2013, he reemerged by going on a crazy Florida-Man-style crime spree.

It all began when Robbins lost his temper at his girlfriend because she broke up with him even after he'd paid for her boob job. He allegedly threatened both her and her son's life. He also beat their dog, in case you had any pity left for him. He then stalked the plastic surgeon, trying to get a refund -- he threatened her so often that she hid in a hotel room and hired an armed guard to stand in front of her practice.

1

Baseball Has-Been Lenny Dykstra Live-Tweeted A Dumpster Dive To Find His Dentures

Like many semi-pro perverts, MLB legend Lenny Dykstra had his teeth knocked out in a jail cell brawl. Since then, the 50-something has sported a supposedly $80,000 set of "bone marrow" dentures. Quite a prize, then, to leave unattended. But that's exactly what happened when Dykstra decided to fold his dentures in a napkin at a Jersey Mike's, having taken them out because "the bread is so hard on those subs." If that makes absolutely no sense, neither will the fact that he then carelessly threw them in the trash. And when Dykstra rushed back to the restaurant, he was told told the teeth had already been thrown in one of the dumpsters. Dysktra, being no stranger to adversity, just gritted his gums and dove right in.