Uh, There Is Now An Xbox-Scented Axe Body Wash

The PC version will come out in 2031.
Uh, There Is Now An Xbox-Scented Axe Body Wash

It's official: Even Xbox thinks it's time for their gamer base to take a shower. Microsoft and Axe (or Lynx, as it is known overseas) are launching a range of Xbox-themed shower products to "Lift your GAME."

Might as well be called Toxic Masculinity: The Shampoo-Conditioner Combo.

Xbox Lynx, which includes a radioactive green three-in-one shower gel, launches in Australia and New Zealand. It will KO any bad odors with the refreshing smell of kaffir lime, sage, and patchouli. Oh c'mon, how is that a better smell than sweaty T-shirt and Mountain Dew?

But worse than the stink of patchouli is the faint whiff of sexism. Chosen by Microsoft for this very reason, Axe is still best known for being the horny teenager's stink-masker of choice. But in the past, it has relied heavily on blatantly sexist advertising which pretended that their eau de gym shower was basically an aerosol roofie. This was combined with scent names straight out of the troll's manual, like the Thai Massage ...

33% NEW SIZE MORE AXE SANIE Wsabiele Tigerorass OS Ba SaaSale SOERE GRL 16R.0-473m

... or Night Attack, for when you want to smell like the reason women have 911 pre-dialed on their phones ...


... or Ex-Friends, which we imagine came with a free copy of The Game and a fedora. In that sense, from a demographic standpoint, a team-up between insecure teen boys' deodorant and console of choice is a no-brainer. (But not No-Brainer, the discontinued Axe facial scrub we just made up.) But it's still quite surprising that the company would want to associate with such a noxious brand. Oh, not Axe, but Xbox.

Unlike the console giant, Axe is currently doing a hard pivot away from their misogynistic taint with a new campaign all about gender positivity and condemning toxic masculinity. So trying to lure in one of the most infamously misogynistic demographics in the middle of your attempt to distance yourself from your own infamous misogyny makes you look both cynical and insincere. And that stink doesn't wash off easily.

For more weird tangents and his personal recipes for toilet wine, do follow Cedric on Twitter.

For more, check out Jurassic World 3 To Bring Back The Jurassic Park Cast, Oh No and Apple's Finally Putting iTunes Out Of Its Misery.

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