Which is why, right before the big eruption started, the Coast Guard began limiting boats giving tours of the lava flows to 300 yards from the carnage. One lava tour operator who disregarded the limit would call the measure "severe." Imagine his surprise when, a little over a year later, 23 people on a similar tour were injured after a "lava bomb" landed right on top of their tour boat (thankfully, no one died). So yeah, 300-yard limit, dude.
You're not any safer on land either. Unless you're Usain Bolt, Kilauea's lava can outrun you. Groundside, you also run the risk stumbling into clouds of hydrochloric acid, which killed two tourists back in November 2000. Those plumes of pretty white mist might want you to think that they're some of Bob Ross' "happy little clouds," but they're as evil as a Banksy prank.
Related: 5 Of Earth's Most Terrifying Places (Where People Also Live)
Snort Your Way Across Colombia By Taking A Cocaine Tour
Ready for the latest craze that's sweeping the nation's nose hairs? It's called cocaturisma, and it's cocaine tourism for sheltered Westerners that's apparently such a magical experience that some are willing to trek to the opposite side of the Earth to take in the snorts and sounds.
Spencer Platt/Getty ImagesIt’s the wholesome, natural, farm-to-mirror experience you just don’t see anymore.
For $60 or less, you can take the tour, sometimes in a normal family household. Drug traffickers will chop up coca leaves and process cocaine right in front of you, using a special family recipe that's been passed down to them from their great-great-abuelas or something. You know, a little battery acid, a bit of gasoline, a touch of cement. Things like that.
Of course, you might run into some problems. Aside from the fact that it's still illegal as hell, a large portion of Colombia's drug trafficking is controlled by various guerrilla armies, paramilitaries, and good old-fashioned urban gangs. Basically, if you go around asking for one of these tours, there's no telling who you might end up with. Could be an affable family, could be a heavily armed man forcing you to a remote part of the jungle to dig holes.
Steve Lyon is a freelance writer for hire. You can find him on Facebook or email him.
And on the off chance you die on these 'vacations', there are some great urns available on Amazon.
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