The CIA Used Sex Dolls To Trick The KGB
Cold War thrillers are tense games of cat and mouse featuring high-tech gadgets that range from the slick to the wildly cartoonish. In real life, though, the CIA opted for something a little simpler when they wanted to avoid detection by the Soviets: inflatable sex dolls.
It was nearly impossible for CIA operatives to move through Moscow incognito in the '70s, because the KGB had mastered identifying and tailing their cars. But the agency still needed a way to slip out undetected and meet their contacts, complete their missions, or spend some alone time with their sex dolls. Wait, that's the answer! Blow-up dolls would replace an agent in their car after they snuck out while their tail wasn't looking. This was before the internet, so the dolls had to be purchased from sex shops by the agents themselves -- according to one agent, he was too embarrassed to ask his secretary to do it for him. To be fair, "That's classified, ma'am" has never worked as a sex-toy-related excuse in all of history.
DF5KX/Wikimedia Commons“It’s for national security. Also, America needs a copy of Ass Smashers 9.”
"But wait," you might be thinking, "wouldn't a sex doll be pretty conspicuous in the car before the agent slipped out?" Sounds like somebody hasn't seen Airplane! They simply manufactured rigs from airbags that could be hidden in a car until they needed the doll to pop out, fully inflated, like a jack in the box. That's actually what the CIA called them -- "JIBs," for "jack in boxes." They giggled every single time they said it. We don't have a source for that last claim, we just know it to be true.
Peeing And Pooping In Fighter Jets Is An Absolute Nightmare
Picture any gritty WWII movie -- that long, slow pan over the crew of a long-range bomber, their engines in flames, their escorts destroyed. They know they have to carry out their mission, and they know they won't be going home. And now picture all of that, but covered in shit. That was the reality of long-range bombers during World War II. They often had to fly extremely long missions, and airborne lavatory technology was still ... rudimentary, at best.
The British Lancaster Bomber had one makeshift chemical toilet sitting out in the open, right in the middle of everyone, and it would constantly overflow. That's bad enough, but when they hit turbulence, the laws of physics teamed up with the vengeful toilet to give as good as it got. That dramatic closing monologue about young Gunner Wilson's bravery is spoiled a little bit when you zoom in and see the toilet paper behind the pilot's ear.
Devon S A/Royal Air ForceExcept that there’s no way toilet paper would be discarded like that. That stuff was precious.