A marriage proposal is something you (ideally) only get one shot at. Everything has to be on point: the location, the speech, the EMTs in case your loved one chokes on the ring hidden in the tiramisu, and so on. Recently, when one gamer decided he wanted to propose to his girlfriend in a big way, he asked for the help of his friendly neighborhood Spider-Man. But not even our favorite webslinger could untangle the sticky situation that followed.
In May, Tyler Schultz felt that he was ready to level up his five-year relationship with his girlfriend Maddie. She thought it would a great idea for him to propose at a big convention, because no act of love is complete without three different nearby Deadpools making jerk-off motions. But Schultz thought he had found a way to "one-up" her. He reached out to Insomniac Games and asked for the studio to include his proposal in their upcoming game, Spider-Man. Ever the romantics, the studio agreed and added a movie theater marquee in the game that read "Maddie, will you marry me?"
But unlike every other tragic romance in the Spider-Man universe, this one didn't even need the Green Goblin's machinations. When the game was finally released on September 7, Maddie did not accept Schultz's proposal, because she had left him a few weeks earlier. To quote John Jonah Jameson III, aka the menacing Man-Wolf, woof.
Unsurprisingly, this is by no means the first time a gamer has declared their intent to marry via the medium of pixelated blocks. Schultz's isn't even the first proposal Easter egg, either. That honor goes to the 1990 puzzler Klax -- and it didn't go very smoothly either. When the game was ported over to the Game Boy Color in 1999, lead programmer Mike Mika found he had plenty of ROM space left to put in some extra eggs, including a sweet marriage proposal to his puzzle-obsessed girlfriend. There was only one small problem: said girlfriend didn't really like playing Klax, so she never bothered to get to the part that unlocked her marriage. It was only several years later that a frustrated Mika lured her into finding his proposal by publishing cheat codes in a video game magazine article which called her out by name to find the Easter egg already.
For more weird tangents and his personal recipes for toilet wine, do follow Cedric on Twitter.
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