In an interview, Janssen said he hopes to expand his diet one day, reflecting on the time, many years ago, when he "ate a peach and it was amazing." Dan, you're aware that you can go to the store and buy some peaches, right? You don't have to go to the county fair and hope that a caravan from an exotic land has brought them to your humble hamlet.
All of this has probably made you picture a dangerously obese greasy slob on the threshold of death, but Janssen looks less like a walking corpse, and more like a person who actually doesn't eat pizza every day. (Though if you cut him, we're pretty sure he'd bleed spicy marinara.)
One Man Went Without Blinking For 41 Goddamn Minutes
Staring matches are great for everything from killing time to... killing time. There are only two rules in a staring contest: no blinking and no falling in love.
But what's fun and games for most people is taken very, very seriously in certain circles. Take 2011's So You Think You Can Stare competition, which was held in Australia's Northern Territory, and drew 45 hardcore competitors who would absolutely dominate a career as a bus pervert.
The Grand Finale saw two staring legends, each anointed with their own goofy alias, stare at each other for 40 minutes and 59 seconds. Can you feel your corneas hurting just thinking about it? By the end, both men were crying their eyes out, and not from emotion. Fergal "Eyesore" Fleming beat Steven "Stare Master" Stagg for the prize, which he could hopefully still see when it was all over. Fleming likened the experience to getting a tattoo on his eyeball.
Both are veterans of the competitive staring circuit, at least until their eyes melt out of their sockets. Sure, such excessive staring may make your eyes all dry and red, but at least it's worth it when ... uh ...
Patricia Basch is a high school teacher, a university instructor, and a writer in the suburbs of Chicago. She is also very dedicated to her family. Follow her on Twitter.
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