But the revolution has only begun. Protests like the one opposing Dakota Access are emerging everywhere companies are trying to build pipelines, such as in Florida and Texas. Even if the fight against this one ultimately fails, expect to hear a lot more about these kinds of protests in the news ... whenever normality resumes.
There Might Still Be A Real Zika Outbreak in the US Because Nobody's Paying Attention To It
Remember Zika, the terrifying virus that causes babies to be born with tiny heads thanks to swarms of vampiric asshole insects? Unless you haven't seen a mosquito in the past half year, there's no reason to assume that incredible tragedy just went away. And it's this lack of awareness that could be making things worse.
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"THIS MEANS YOU, CLAIRE!"
While Zika is still raging on in South America, it's easy to see why so few people outside of the continent think it's a problem. The United States has had 5,300 Zika cases from January 1, 2015, to May 24, 2017, according to the CDC. The bulk of those infected were also people who'd gotten it while traveling to places where the virus was widespread, like Brazil and the Caribbean. Only 224 cases came from local mosquito transmission, mostly in Florida and Texas (and 48 people got Zika through boning, in case you were wondering). But the virus is a sneaky bastard. While reported cases aren't rising, this shouldn't be taken as a sign that the situation has stagnated like the water that births the angry sword-faced plague carriers. That's because 80 percent of Zika cases have no symptoms at all. One study even figures that Zika was already in Florida for two months before anybody noticed, like the cat burglar of mosquito-born diseases.
Those numbers aren't going to improve now that awareness has taken a nosedive and temperatures are rising. In Texas, only four people showed up to a recent Zika awareness meeting held in an area at risk for an outbreak this summer. That's especially bad news for poor people, because mosquitos love to bite them. Poor areas in Texas's Rio Grande Valley have loads of standing water, and their sprawling layouts render bug spraying useless -- the perfect conditions for a mosquito orgy. Luckily, we've got some scientists trying to genetically engineer our way out of an outbreak.
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Plan B is arming Mosquito Control with the world's tiniest shotguns.
They are modifying swarms of male Aedes aegypti mosquitoes to make them "self-limiting insects," which is a scientific term meaning "we have cursed their dicks." These modified mosquitoes are then let into the wild to mate with infected females, who do all the actual biting and disease spreading. Thanks to the cursed penises of those male mosquitoes, like some mosquito Greek tragedy, these females can only produce offspring that dies in its infancy before it has a chance to start spreading the virus. Within a relatively short time, humanity should be in the clear from Zika, because judging by every film made in the 1990s, genetically modifying insects to cure a serious disease cannot possibly backfire in any way.
For more things we'd like to remind you about, check out 9 Stories That Were Huge (And Immediately Forgotten) In 2016 and 22 Huge Scandals You Don't Even Think About Anymore.
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