Hollywood screenwriters rarely help set up the lighting during movies, for the same reason directors don't usually prepare sandwiches for the catering table outside of film school joints. And yet it's entirely acceptable for famous actors to offer input on the plots of big-budget productions. After all, they'll be the ones doing those things and saying those lines in front of millions and millions of people, so they'd never suggest something too stupid, right?
You can probably guess the answer to that question. We'll let you decide whether any of the following actor suggestions are so dumb that they cross over into being brilliant ...
Adam West Wants To Return To The Batman Movies As Batman's Dad (Who Is Also Batman)
If you ignore the times he promoted the war in Vietnam or made drunken appearances at car shows, Adam West was a damn great Batman. He fought crime, thoughtfully cared for his young ward, and even kicked the Joker's ass in a surfing competition, which is apparently the only way to truly get the better of his bloodthirsty madness.
Warner Bros. TelevisionEither it was chillier than normal in the studio, or Schumacher wasn't the inventor of the batsuit nipples after all.
However, in case you hadn't noticed, they've made a few Batman movies since the days when the Dark Knight could slip a pair of swim trunks over his costume like it was no big deal -- and West has wanted to be a part of almost all of them. This goes all the way back to 1989, when West kept insisting that he should play Batman, which would be a little like casting Mr. Rogers as the Punisher. (That is, awesome. Until you get to the wanton killing. Then it's just traumatizing.)
When Christian Bale took over as a Batman more likely to break a guy's neck than bust out a can of Shark Repellent, West again chimed in that he should be in the movie, but as Batman's father. Comic book connoisseurs might notice one tiny problem with this idea: Dr. Thomas Wayne took that fatal alley shortcut way before he got to be West's age. In West's proposed version, though, he'd still be alive ... and he'd be Batman, too.
Gage SkidmoreAlso, in this version, Bruce would be adopted.