Bohemian Grove Is Going Bankrupt
According to conspiracy theorists, the Bohemian Club is the best evidence we have that all of the major players in American business and politics are part of the same demonic cult. Every year in July, the Bohemian Grove campground in California hosts a two-week party for the club, whose membership is extremely exclusive and private, and includes several former presidents, business magnates, and other assorted rich white men whom we have to assume are evil, based on the laws of '80s action movies. Suspicion about the club came to a head in 2000, when professional crazy person Alex Jones managed to infiltrate the party, and filmed the leaders of the free world worshiping a 30-foot owl statue.
He then died of a conspiracygasm and was replaced by one of the Alex Clones.
Considering how it has boasted members such as Reagan, Nixon, Hoover, Teddy Roosevelt, George H.W. Bush, Henry Kissinger, Henry Morgan, Rupert Murdoch, and William Randolph Hearst, you might be surprised to learn that the Bohemian Club is broke as hell. They can't even afford to pay their workers anymore. Whether or not said workers signed a blood pact to the Demon Owl God Moloch for their unholy service doesn't change the fact that a Sonoma County judge ordered the club to pay out around $7 million this year in compensation to the hundreds of cooks, bartenders, and valets who have been underpaid by the failing organization since 2011.
The Bohemian Club started reporting losses as early as 2006. And though the membership fees are outrageous, the club has always supplemented its income by logging the surrounding redwood forest ... until 2011, when its logging license was revoked for violating state environmental law.
Edward W. Carter
"In the future, we'll have to be more of a Bohemian Managed Forest."