Parents, teachers, puppeteers, etc appreciate the challenge of teaching kids without getting preachy, which is why most of them resort to rap or sketch comedy to convey hard lessons. Little-known fact: The Fugees' album The Score was actually designed to teach youngsters their times tables.
But if you get too creative in passing along your amazing lessons, you might end up looking like one of these idiots.
McDonald's Tries To Get Kids Exercising, Burns And Blisters Their Skin Instead
Recently, McDonald's invited pint-size riots from coast to coast by introducing a Happy Meal without a toy. Instead, children got STEP-iT bracelets -- colorful plastic armbands that tracked the number of steps a child walked, lighting up when they were actively stepping. The goal, obviously, was to entice children to start moving, exercising, and losing weight ... via something packed into a box filled with greasy fries, slimy nuggets, and fatty burgers. That's like a drug dealer providing a free NA pamphlet with every gram of heroin.
We'll never know if the bracelets would've actually worked, because within eight days, McDonald's was forced to recall them all. To save money (since, well, they're dying and fucking need to), McDonald's ordered that the plastic bands be made as cheaply as possible, and with material that doesn't get along with human flesh all that swimmingly. As a result, shortly after slapping them on, several children began complaining about burn marks and blisters where once there was a STEP-iT. Exercise can be painful, but it shouldn't be that kind of painful.
"Ba da ba ba ba, I'm lov- WHY, MOM, WHY?!"
Then more children complained. And then more. All in all, at least 70 kids reported that McDonald's provided them food, folks, and fucked-up skin. To their credit, McDonald's immediately recalled every STEP-iT ever sold. Bring it back and you can get apple slices or yogurt, along with ... a free toy, like every Happy Meal before it. The lesson: Never try anything new, ever.