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As a society we put an incredible amount of trust in our teachers. They're alone with our kids for most of the day, and what they teach them will shape their worldview. The potential for things to go wrong is enormous. And as you'd suspect, things often go enormously wrong. Irresponsible or downright crazy teachers wind up teaching our kids lessons we'd rather they'd kept to themselves. #6.
Never Be Afraid to Get A Little Feces On Your Hands
At East Iberville Elementary School in Louisiana, they don't take shit from little kids, literally. So when a seven-year-old boy managed to clog up the toilet at school his teacher did the only rational thing she could think of: She made him unclog it with his bare hands.
It started when little Trevor ate too many Pop Tarts for breakfast. Feeling the need to take care of business, he asked to go to the bathroom and, in his own words, "made the toilet overflow with toilet paper and poo." Such a feat by a seven-year-old is something we at Cracked actually find fairly impressive and deserving of proper respect. His teacher however, failed to recognize his achievement in its proper light and wanted to punish him. Either that or she had a fear of plungers or something. And because the sight of a crying seven-year-old elbow deep in a toilet wasn't sad enough, she threatened to make him use his teeth next time. Afterward, she encouraged her class to taunt the boy by calling him "sissy hands," which must be some kind of devastating slam in Louisiana, since "shit hands" was so much more appropriate for the situation. It turns out the teacher was part of an "alternative" teaching program, at least that's what the school said after police arrested her and charged her with juvenile cruelty. After the arrest, the school had to close down the other alternative programs, including the home economics sweat shop and pre-school coal mine.
We're glad to hear that at least one school board member wants to fire the teacher. The other members are apparently on the fence, maybe because she didn't actually follow through on her threat about making the boy use his teeth. #5.
Let's Play "Holocaust"!
They say experience is the best teacher. Hands-on lessons are easy for things like learning to draw a picture of a turkey by tracing your hand, but harder for subjects like history. This didn't stop the teachers at Apopka Memorial Middle School in Florida, who decided that it would be really fun to have "Holocaust" day at school. And as we learned while researching this article, the Florida public school definition of "fun" translates roughly to "mentally scarring."
As students showed up on the big day, certain kids were given gold stars to wear. These students were supposed to be the Jewish students and throughout the day they were persecuted by not being able to use certain water fountains and not allowed to sit down. You know, just like in the Holocaust. Neither the students or their parents were told about the day because teachers said they didn't want students to be prepared for the terror and fear (well, at least annoyance and mild confusion) that was to come. Apparently the teachers felt that you really couldn't half-ass something like the Holocaust.
As one boy told his dad afterward, the only thing he learned was that he really didn't want to be a Jew. We're pretty sure this is the almost the exact opposite of what the teachers were hoping the kids would learn. Or was it? Parents were predictably upset and flooded the school with complaints. Even Jewish groups were left palming their faces and cursing silently in Yiddish. Sadly, all the backlash from the day caused the school to cancel the "Master/Slave" role playing exercise. However, it went on as planned at another school... #4.
Let's Play "Slave Ship"!
Most teachers have that voice of reason in their heads that tells them when they're going too far with a child. This voice usually chimes in before they try to tie up their students' hands and legs with tape. That same voice probably gets a little louder when that teacher is trying to decide whether or not to stuff those students under a desk.
One teacher in White Plains, New York was apparently deaf to that voice of reason and instead chose to listen to her voice of terrible, terrible ideas. During a history class for seventh graders, a teacher was trying to impress upon her students that slavery really sucked. Fearing that her students wouldn't take her word for it, she felt that the only way to really get the point across would be to make the students feel what slaves went through. Just like how you need to push people off a building to show them how hitting the ground would really hurt.
To make things even more realistic or something, the teacher forced one student to take part in the demonstration after not getting enough volunteers. And of course, the teacher, who was white, chose a black student to participate because she really wanted to make a Cracked list. When they were finally released, the student who was made to pretend to be a slave decided that getting tied and stuffed under a desk was some serious bullshit and told her parents. When they complained to the school, the superintendent admitted this was a bad idea if it upset the student. Uh, yeah, we're thinking if you have a middle school student who loves being tied up and shoved under a desk, you actually have a bigger problem on your hands. |
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How did #6 end up as, well, #6? If that isn't horrifying, I don't know what is.
I go to school in Florida!!! It's actually quite fine...despite the one b***h teacher...in fact she isn't even a teacher! She's an assistant. She totally blew up at me for slapping some kid's hand. Anyway, the worst thing our school does is give us homework on friday's. GO FLORIDA!!!
#1 happened in my Creative Writing class. Except the assignment was to write about someone who might assassinate Obama.
4 actually happened in my class. Only he did it to all the kids, not just a single black kid.
So...how is the baby bunny one not number one? That one seems the worst one to me. It's sick to kill a baby anything in that manner, and that was killing a f**king bunny for christ's sake! They're some of the smallest babies and don't have any form of defense!
Bunny murder is definitely the worst thing on ANY Cracked list.
Somehow, having apathetic teachers who stopped trying don't seem so bad anymore.
I fail to grasp how number one is really as bad as the others. It's not exactly a great idea to tell your students to cook up ideas to destroy their home country, but it's not like the teacher actually then went and turned those plans into a demonstration, like so many of the other teachers. If number one were to make the list at all, I'd have put it at number 6.
Oh man, remind me not to move to Florida and try to raise kids there. Holy crap they have some screwed up teachers there. And I thought I got screwed up teachers in Milwaukee, WI.
Don't worry. Jacksonville is a fine place in regards of Education. I go to school in Orange Park (which isn't as..."classy" as Jacksonville) but is still very good place to raise your kids. I would definitely recommend Jacksonville, but anyway, don't blame the entire state of Florida because it is wonderful and the educational system here is quite awesome. The schools mentions in this article are just f**ked up.
#2.
Your Personal Worth is Determined by Popular Vote
happened to me when I had moved schools and had only been there a week.. felt really welcome there.. not.
When I was in kindergarten, I went to a Catholic school. One day, a girl came in to school, devastated because her dog had just died recently. Some of the other kids tried to comfort her by telling her she would see the dog later when she went to Heaven, and that the dog was probably having a great time up in Heaven...one of the teachers comes over and matter-of-factly informs the girl that animals aren't allowed in Heaven and she would never see her dog ever again. That, and some other bulls**t, made me give up on religion completely...
Obviously that teacher never saw All Dogs Go to Heaven. It is confirmed that animal souls are so innocent, they cannot go to hell.
Except.... The villian dog in All Dogs Go To Heaven went to Hell in a graphic manner.
@djthommes I thought the villain in the movie just got swallowed whole. He didn't really die, did he?
A teacher in my area tried to teach about segregation by having a fake lynching. Some parents caught wind of it before it happened and the principal stopped it.
To make it not so racially biased she was having the black kids lynch the white kids though.
LOL. I've gone through the Florida public school system for my entire education. Can't say I've heard anything like this, though. (But I'm from North-Florida. Lord knows what they're doing down south.) Anyway, great article. Oh, and the bunnies things should definitely be number one. That probably scarred soo many kids.
Yay!!! I go to school in North Florida too (Jacksonville!) Yay! Don't you agree that the educational system is tolerable if not great???? Oh yeah...and the bunny thing is totally horrifying.
I was in hysterics reading this - probably should not have been - but it was the wonderful writing. Lost it firstly on "After the arrest, the school had to close down the other alternative programs, including the home economics sweat shop and pre-school coal mine."
Just gold - thank you Cracked! You keep me saine - or insaine - not sure but I love it. I love it a lot!
I'm gonna have to agree with ogawaburukku. The 3rd one with the bunnies should be #1. That's pretty f**ked up. I mean the title of the article says horrific. And in my worthless opinion that's some horrific s**t. Come on, beating bunnies to death with a shovel in front of little kids and that doesn't get the number one spot? Really?
I actually went to the school in Florida where the Autistic kid was voted out of class. I knew the teacher and her son was in my class. I actually had good teachers from 2-4th grades(hallelujah for a gifted program), but the teachers in FLorida get up to this s**t because they're undertrained, underfunded, somehow supposed to handle gargantuan classes (43 in my 5th grade class), and worst of all they're not even allowed to teach, thanks to the FCAT. Because there's not a science test on the FCAT until 5th grade, I didn't have a science lesson until then, which is why I taught myself. When I got sent out in 5th grade, I was sent to a side room of the main office with no supervision or stimulation for 4-5 hours. This with any ten year old is bad. Thankfully, I noe go to a private school where people actually care.
correction: Asperger's, which I have. Also, look up when they tased a 6-year old somewhere else in Florida
Haha, very true. The teachers are under-staffed, under-paid, under-trained, under-everything, here. While all my teachers were pretty good, it doesn't surprise me that we do have teachers and schools that do ludicrous things like this.
Also, I think I heard about that story of the 6 year old.
i lived in florida until the end of 2nd grade. my 2nd grade teacher was black, but had no problem pointing out to the rest of my classmates that i was a "dirty asian" (& the only asian in the class). if that didn't leave me friendless, her telling everyone i was from the devil because i was left handed definitely did.
oh man I dropped out of school in florida >_>
-lives in Florida-
When I was lin 2nd grade, some boy kept peeing on the bathroom floor. Our principal found it best to come on the loud speaker, and tell all us kids that she was installing secret cameras in EVERY bathroom and was going to be watching us pee.
Disturbing article--Halariously written. :)
I went to school in Florida too. In middle school they had cameras installed in the girls' locker room. Not in the boys' as far as I know, though.
I live just outside the Tampa area and our news reports are riddled with the outright stupidity of the school system. Teachers having sex or sexting with students, stupid things teachers are doing just like these reports, and let's not forget that Florida has one of the worst drop-out rates, can you blame the students.
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