6 Baffling Movie Moments With Really Logical Explanations

And sure, there was also a big pile of dinosaur shit in the original Jurassic Park, but at least Laura Dern never provocatively rubbed it on herself while Jeff Goldblum leered at her like some creep about to ruin his leather pants.

One especially confusing scene: Bond gives Q (MI6's resident nerd) a super-secret ring from the titular evil organization, Spectre. Q then analyzes the ring using his laptop on a mountaintop gondola, because internet cafes aren't cool-looking enough for this franchise.

Eon Productions

Amazingly, this one ring from a random enemy agent leads Q to discover that every villain from the Daniel Craig era was working for Spectre -- think of them as the general manager to every Bond villain from the past 10 years' Arby's employee.

But putting the filmmakers' desperation to shoehorn Spectre into old movies' plots aside, just how in the hell did Q come to this conclusion? Since this is the only popular British film series that doesn't involve magic, how did a ring suddenly save the day?

The Explanation:

If you look closely, you can see that Q's computer is pulling up toxicology reports from autopsies while simultaneously scrolling through the periodic table of elements. Which is a thing Sony computers do, apparently.

Eon Productions

You can just barely make out that the toxicology report from their autopsies all contained the super-rare substance that the ring is made of, confirming they were all members of Spectre.

Eon Productions

Director Sam Mendes clarified this point, but in a testament to just how confusing this scene truly is, even he fucks up the details, calling the rare substance "Ridium" -- even though you can plainly see (if you have access to a magnifying glass) that it's actually called "Reidite."

He went on to say, "You can't tell that unless you freeze-frame on those graphics, but it does make sense." So there you have it. If the projectionists at your local movie theater didn't pause the screen and let you read that part, they really dropped the ball.

The Baffling Moment:

Those who always wanted a Terminator movie where the T-800 was a cantankerous senior citizen must have made some kind of human sacrifice to the ancient gods, because how else do you explain Terminator Genisys? The film begins with what seems to be a straightforward depiction of the events leading up to The Terminator, with Kyle Reese being sent back in time by John Connor plus 20 or so people who don't seem to be doing much.

Paramount Pictures

Just before he disappears, Reese witnesses John being grabbed by a random stranger, played by the guy from Doctor Who:

Paramount Pictures

When Reese arrives in 1984, everything's different -- Sarah Connor has a Terminator sidekick, and Skynet's master plan will turn out to be some kind of phone app.

Paramount Pictures

So what the hell happened? At the end of the movie, Skynet begins to take shape as a humanoid hologram who resembles the Doctor Who guy ... and that's all the explanation we get. We never find out how or why the past changed, and since the planned sequel to this sequel/prequel/remake was effectively terminated, we probably never will.

The Explanation:

Actually, the film's screenwriters answered this important question in the most appropriate place a writer can communicate essential plot details. No, not in the actual movie. In an interview. According to them, the humanoid version of Skynet is from another timeline and is traveling between parallel universes like an evil Jerry O'Connell. This alternate Skynet has seen these events unfold over and over, so it messes with our timeline to try to create a future where the robots finally win for good.

This may seem like gasoline on the already raging fire of convoluted wackiness that is the Terminator franchise -- but think of how many problems this would solve. Not only would it explain where this mysterious villain came from, it would also help unite all the various Terminator properties, since they all exist in distinct parallel universes.

Geffen Records

Insanely, this is never addressed in the movie but is supposedly referenced when Skynet-Man states: "I came a very long way to stop you" ... which didn't really come across because it could just as easily mean he bussed himself in from the suburbs that day.

Thor's body becomes electrified and he begins having psychic visions of either the Infinity Stones or a blue glowy kidney stone he's going to have to deal with at some point.

Marvel Studios

When he returns, Thor knows exactly how to defeat the baddie, Ultron -- but who gave him this info? And why did he need Skarsgard there with him, especially since having an older Swedish guy just hanging around while you hot tub is usually a mood-killer?

The Explanation:

Originally the scene was much longer, and the idea was that Thor would communicate with The Norns, the fates of Norse mythology who would speak through Thor -- probably because having Chris Hemsworth hop in a filthy pond was cheaper than hiring more union actors. That's why Thor needed a wingman, so someone could speak to The Norns on Thor's behalf and ask them what the hell was going on.

Marvel Studios

While the scene is kind of awkward and would have helped push the movie to an almost unbearable length, it does provide much more detail on the Infinity Stones and ultimately makes Thor's decision to take off for clandestine bathing sessions seem more like an integral part of the story and less like a mid-life crisis.

There have been a lot of Disneyland-based movies over the years, but while The Haunted Mansion features an actual haunted mansion, and The Country Bears fulfills its promise of starring animatronic bear-like creatures that will haunt your nightmares until the day you die, Tomorrowland doesn't really have a Tomorrowland. The futuristic city they call Tomorrowland turns out to be not the future but an artificially created parallel dimension where all of our brightest minds have migrated to -- so fuck all of us dummies here on Earth, basically.

Walt Disney

But why "Tomorrowland"? Wouldn't "ElitistAssholeParallelUniverseLand" be more accurate? And even more confusingly, what about the Tomorrowland that's at Disneyland? We know there's a Disneyland in the world of this movie, because the opening scene literally takes place inside the It's A Small World ride. Say what you will about the Pirates Of The Caribbean movie, but at least it had the decency not to begin with Jack Sparrow lining up for Space Mountain.

Walt Disney

The Explanation:

Originally the parallel universe was going to have a direct link to Disneyland, with the Tomorrowland where you threw up as a child serving as a cover for the real Tomorrowland "in case anyone came snooping around." Not only that, but Walt Disney himself was going to be more of an intrinsic part of the story and be revealed as part of Plus Ultra, the secret society that created Tomorrowland, whose members also included Jules Verne and Thomas Edison.

Of course, having Walt Disney be one of the heroes of a Disney movie isn't just a little self-aggrandizing; it's distracting. So Walt's connection ended up on the cutting room floor. Plus, after years of unfounded rumors that Disney was a secret Nazi, having a movie suggest that he was the founder of an underground society that accepts only people they deem to be the purest probably didn't sit well with the higher-ups.

The Baffling Moment:

Film novelizations can be a lot of fun, providing details not seen in the movie, such as the fact that E.T. was secretly a pervy old peeping tom. And since Star Wars is a juggernaut of useless crap first and a cinematic space adventure second, we naturally received a novelization for The Force Awakens ... and it actually clears up some big questions.

For instance: When former stormtrooper Finn meets our new hero, Rey, he mentions that the First Order is after a map that leads to Luke Skywalker. Rey excitedly responds that she thought Luke Skywalker "was a myth."

Lucasfilm

Think about how crazy this is for a moment: Luke Skywalker was the catalyst in one of the biggest events in the galaxy, which happened only 30 years ago. That would be like if you grew up thinking that The Beatles didn't exist.

The Explanation:

The same scene plays out in the novel, but this time we get to hear Finn's inner-monologue as he reacts to what she's saying:

"Luke Skywalker? I thought he was just a myth."

Finn gaped at the girl. Was she serious? It was true that Jakku was a backwater world, but still ...

"Really?" was all he could think of to say.

Lucasfilm

Basically, Finn thinks she's a fucking idiot -- of course Luke Skywalker's famous; he blew up the damn Death Star! The problem is that this desert planet is a hive of space rednecks and space ignorance, and this poor girl has no space education whatsoever.

The book also explains how Poe survives crashing a TIE fighter, somehow leaving only his jacket behind. The book explains that his jacket was caught, and he had to remove it, then stumbled away in a concussed haze. So there goes all of your "Poe is a ghost that only Finn can see" fan theories.

Lucasfilm

The ending also makes way more sense in the book: Instead of R2-D2 magically springing to life because the movie needed an ending, Rey mentions that the missing part of the map is in the Imperial Archives, and that's what triggers R2.

It seems R2 downloaded the entire Imperial Archives, probably from back in the first movie when he got his computer interface arm all up in the Death Star's business. That map, combined with BB-8's, is what leads them to Luke's island of mopiness. Sadly, the book never offers any huge revelations, like that Rey's parents are Lobot and Bea Arthur's Holiday Special character.

J.M. McNab co-hosts the pop culture nostalgia podcast Rewatchability, which can also be found on iTunes. Follow him on Twitter @Rewatchability.

For more pop culture explanations we actually do have, check out 6 Deleted Scenes That Totally Change Classic Movies and 7 Famous Movie Flaws That Were Explained in Deleted Scenes.

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