Well, according to science, the type of sexual engagement you prefer is in fact written all over your face, and there's nothing short of extensive plastic surgery you can do to hide it.
"I'm going for the 'committed but complicated' look."
In a study published in the journal Evolution and Human Behavior, researchers at Durham University asked 700 men and women what they were looking for in a relationship -- nuptials or bestials. Then they showed them photos of the other participants and asked them to rate their sexual attitudes. Seventy-two percent of the time, a single glance at another participant's face was all it took to correctly rate their tendency to slip away while the sheets are still conveniently slippery.
Want to test this yourself? Simply take a look in the mirror. Guys: If you have a wide face, a square jaw, and small eyes, then you're more likely to keep your intimate relationships on the casual side. Gals: If you have wide doe eyes and larger lips, then you're more likely to order your sausage to go, if you catch our drift. The dark evolutionary implication here is that men who look more conventionally masculine tend to fire their seed around like some kind of crotch-mounted Gatling gun, while attractive females are pre-programmed to treat their nether bits like a dive bar dartboard.
And like darts, it gets really confusing playing with three or more.