Ark: Survival Evolved Encourages Vigilante Justice
Ark is basically Minecraft with graphics and dinosaurs. The only thing about the idea that isn't perfect is how you share that awesome world with this world's douchebags. One player who called himself Ricky had earned a reputation for being a racist dickbag. In a land of giant beasts, he spent his time calling people the n-word, but that's the only thing he had in common with Hulk Hogan. So a group of players banded together and locked Ricky's imaginary character in an imaginary shack.
In a land of savage dino murder, there is only one crime: being a shithead.
If you're not familiar with this particular game, you maybe asked, "So what?" If you're familiar with video games in general, you maybe asked, "Couldn't he just ... die and respawn? Hack ... the DDOS RPG? I'm sorry, I don't know as much about games as I led you to believe during the start of this hypothetical." Great point! Well, Ricky couldn't exactly kill himself. Your character in Ark does not have a self-destruct button. You can kill yourself by eating your own shit (seriously), though Ricky wasn't clever enough to try this. Instead, he started punching the walls, hoping to die of hand trauma.
Strangely enough, the designers of Ark created a way to prevent your prisoner from committing suicide. Other players can knock you unconscious and then do whatever they want to your sleeping body. That means two things: We just pinged Bill Cosby's favorite Google alert, and other players can force-feed you to keep you alive. So that's what other players did. If he came too close to dying inside his tiny box, someone jammed food into him until he was healthy again. He was once a racist dinosaur fighter. Now he was an imaginary, suicidal veal calf.
"W-wait! No one told me there would be consequences to being a little bitc-zzzzzzzzzz."
Ricky would wake up and try to kill himself and the cycle would begin again. How long did this last? Ten hours. So if you felt guilty for sitting down and binge-watching an entire season of New Girl, relax. While you did that, a shitty guy was at his computer, screaming to be let out of a box while his mouth was revenge-fucked by imaginary food. It's as if two geniuses worked separately to create the most boring and the most torturous activities of all time, then decided to combine their ideas.