Mirapex can cause vividly real hallucinations that vary greatly from user to user. Some people see weird things out of the corner of their eye, while others describe seeing two-dimensional beings and human shapes made entirely out of shadows. Still others get into arguments with miniature humans that are harassing them. And those are just the hallucinations. Mirapex carries a litany of terrifying side effects that read like the shooting schedule for a David Cronenberg film, including: nausea, sweating, light-headedness, fainting, pain, tremors, twitching, uncontrolled movements of various appendages (a symptom you may recognize as being one from the disease this drug is meant to control), and weirdly colored urine (because at this point, why not?)
BONNINSTUDIO/iStock/Getty Images Impotence, amnesia, and constipation are listed as "Less serious side effects." Amnesia too.
With all those potential side effects stalking your ass, you could hallucinate some nightmare beast leaping out of your closet and beating you until your piss turns brown, and you'd feel pain. Then, you'd pass out in a wave of nausea, only to wake up later and repeat the process with a different hallucination. It'd be a carousel of nonstop terror.
Parkinson's is a pretty terrible disease, so we suppose that all these potential risks are at least somewhat justifiable in exchange for experiencing some relief. However, Mirapex is also prescribed to treat restless leg syndrome, a comparatively harmless condition that affects up to 10 percent of American adults. This seems to suggest that Mirapex's formulation and distribution is being masterminded by the goddamned Scarecrow.
Warner Bros."Do not use Mirapex if pregnant, nursing, or allergic to vigilante punches. Ask your doctor if Mirapex is right for you."
Following Vicki Veritas on Twitter has no side effects. K. L. Fortson paints and makes music.
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