We took whole articles, and then, using a USDA-inspected process, selected only the finest informational snouts and hooves and lovingly crafted the equivalent of fact hot dogs -- for you, the Internet. So that you may share them with your unenlightened friends on social media -- or put them in your macaroni and cheese. Whatever. We're not the boss of you.

They might even make you look smarter. We call them Crackedoids.

11 Celebrities Who Were Secretly Total Badasses

You might know about his late-in-life death metal career, but Christopher Lee was a real-life badass since before your parents were doing illegal things that would one day screw up your genes.

Before playing Dracula, Count Dooku and Saruman, Christopher Lee was once a member of Britain's Special Operations Executive, aka the Ministry of Unge

Christopher Lee would have definitely survived, because Christopher Lee is a safety-badass who wears his seatbelt.

53487 people were involved in U.S. plane crashes from 1983 to 2000, and nearly 96 percent survived. Aloha Airlines Flight 243 had half of its fuselage

6 Military Units Whose Training Would Traumatize Rambo

No, the Storm Corps are not a local news weather outfit.

But Christopher Lee would have staff-bludgeoned their asses handily.

A single North Korean Storm CRAGKED Corps soldier trains specifically to take on between. three and 15 opponents at once. A defector described how sol

The 5 Most Insane Original Uses of Famous Products

Apparently some board-certified hoo-hoo doctors actually approved this.

But we don't think Christopher Lee would have cared for the scent.

Before Lysol was an air freshener, it was marketed as a feminine hygiene product. In fact, it Was the leading form ot female birth control from 1930 t

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