Our story starts in December of 2011 when, after receiving a tip from a criminal investigator, police were staking out a Pizza Hut close to the U.S./Canada border. They observed a woman pull up in a GMC Yukon, pick up a package, and drive away. The woman was Jasmin Klair, and the package she collected happened to be 24 pounds of cocaine, which, as the keen-eyed officers noticed, is quite a bit larger than most things Pizza Hut serves. Even the Bigfoot.
It's debatable which is worse for your heart. (Yes, that's Haley Joel Osment at :07.)
That piece of information alone would've been enough to warrant a closer look, but Klair upped the suspicion ante by investing in a very specific set of vanity license plates for her Yukon. What did they read, you ask? "SMUGLER." We assume the only reason the plates weren't more incriminating is because there wasn't enough space to include "DRUG."
Police followed Klair's clearly-labeled drug mobile to a hotel called (no shit) The Smuggler's Inn, which boasts rooms named after infamous criminals like Al Capone and DB Cooper. The hotel's owners put a pirate on their sign, but come on -- the hotel is on the northern border of Washington state. We know exactly why you named it "The Smuggler's Inn," and it wasn't because you're super into pirates.
"And I would have gotten away with it, if it weren't for -- actually, this was never going to work."