Back in April, six Walmart stores across Florida, Texas, Oklahoma, and California abruptly closed due to "plumbing problems" -- presumably, a customer dropped a deuce so big that it clogged the toilets in four different states. Not everyone bought this explanation, with some speculating that Walmart might have closed the stores to prevent workers from unionizing. Naturally, that theory wasn't sexy enough for the Internet, so they came up with something slightly better: the end of democracy in America. And the obvious clues were always right there in Walmart's logo:
Around this time, the government announced a military exercise code-named Jade Helm 15 (the same one that has our pal the Texas governor so concerned) which will take place in the exact same states where Walmart closed the stores. Except for Oklahoma and Florida. Oh, and with the addition of Nevada, Utah, Colorado, Arizona, and New Mexico, where no stores have been closed. But other than that, it's the exact same states, which is confirmation that the government is planning on invading and imposing martial law over the region. This raises some questions, such as: 1) Why would the government invade a region it already controls? 2) Why would the arrival of the new world order be heralded via a press release? 3) Why are you asking so many questions? Holy shit, this guy is in on it! Shoot him!