Kingdom Hearts -- Every Freaking Disney Film Is Connected
Kingdom Hearts is what you'd get if The Rescuers Down Under and Final Fantasy hooked up one night and broke a condom. It combines characters from across Disney's endless IP with the familiar JRPG androgynous sword-swinging. It also has a plot structure that makes Zelda look like ... well, a Disney cartoon.
This is unreadable, and we're not talking about the font size.
You see, Kingdom Hearts takes place in a universe where Disney characters live in a parallel dimension to people, and the protagonist, Sora, travels with Donald Duck and Goofy between different Disney "worlds." You go to Agrabah and meet Aladdin, travel to Pride Rock and meet Simba, awkwardly avoid Song Of The South, etc. To avoid all the complications this would create in Disney movies if the worlds coexisted, the developers simply state that most characters are not aware of other worlds (i.e., Belle doesn't know about Mulan's world), thus solving the problem of nitpicking fan-based continuity.
Just kidding! The fans insisted on making everything cohesive and constructed this monstrosity that looks like something you'd find on a 9/11 truther's bulletin board:
Yes, but how does Goof Troop fit in?
According to what we will loosely refer to as a "chart," all the worlds are connected, despite the developers insistence that they aren't. This also implies that Walt Disney had designs on a vast video game universe a full 44 years before the invention of Pong. Look, we totally get it, we've had some pretty crazy theories ourselves, but there needs to be a line, and that line is about eight miles back.
But the Grand Unified Disney Field Theory isn't even the craziest interpretation of these games' continuity. There's also the "Wreck-It Ralph Theory," where it's explained that Disney universes are supposed to be inherently evil-less -- the bad guys aren't truly bad, meaning that there's a support group somewhere attended by powerful despots, crazed gods, and some random French jackass. The implication of this #NotAllDisneyVillains angle is that there needs to be a balance of light and dark, which explains why we keep seeing the same basic plot over and over in these disparate universes. It also means that when the villain of Kingdom Hearts tells Mickey that he's trying to end the "tyranny of light," he's kind of got a point. The bad guys are a critical element to the stability of the universe, and by trying to destroy them permanently, Mickey is not only being a ruthless tyrant, he's possibly throwing all of reality into jeopardy.
Admit it, though: If there was one Disney character you thought would bring about the end of days, it's Mickey.
"Your mother sucks cocks in hell, huh-hah!"
Also check out The 6 Coolest Ways to Lose Popular Video Games and The 6 Biggest Dick Moves in the History of Video Game Design.