Unless you have been wildly misinformed about how eating works, most food enters your body by way of your mouth. Research shows that people who take longer to eat wind up consuming smaller meals, so if discipline fails you, then the next best solution is to shrink your face-hole. For instance, there's a $500 device called the DDS system. Similar to a retainer, it fills up most of your mouth cavity so that you can't open your maw and hoover everything around you into it like a Sarlacc.
Leslie Smith, Jr. , USA TODAY
It's a two-pronged approach, as the $500 price tag also takes a pretty big bite out of your milkshake budget.
If retainers bring up too many painful memories of acne and cancelled prom dates, you could try the Slow Bite instead -- a flexible device that looks like the cross section of a facehugger. The device is inserted between the teeth before every meal, limiting how much you can open your mouth and forcing you to take smaller bites.
Also giving everything you eat the delicious tang of disposable latex.