Abdala Bucaram Used His Presidency to Advance His Music Career
Jupiterimages/Polka Dot/Getty Images
Abdala Bucaram was somehow elected president of Ecuador in 1996 despite unapologetically sporting the most blatant Hitler mustache since, well, Hitler.
Also known as a douchebag birthmark.
Bucaram was known as "El Loco" ("The Madman"), a nickname he championed himself, both by calling himself that and by acting like a complete lunatic. After being elected, Bucaram celebrated his victory like Bill Clinton secretly wishes he had: by taking to the stage to do his Spanish Elvis impersonation while dancing with scantily clad dancers. No, we're not kidding, and we have the gifs to prove it.
You don't even have to hear the music to know that it's horrible.
You see, Bucaram was an aspiring pop star, as evidenced by his album A Madman in Love ... which he released while still in office. Bucaram took advantage of his side job as president to circulate his demo to his co-workers at a work meeting, and by that we mean that he gave his demo to other presidents at an Ibero-American conference in Chile.
But don't let Bucaram's obvious musical talent fool you: The guy was a proven sleazebag. One of the first things he did after taking office was place his business buddies in high government positions and fill the rest of the cabinet with his own family. He even put his 18-year-old son, Jacobo, in charge of the Ecuadorian customs office. Five months later, Jacobo threw a massive party. The reason? He had just made his first million dollars. By the way, the country was going through an economic crisis at the time.
None of this stopped Bucaram from offering professional coach Diego Maradona $1 million to play one soccer game with him and ordering a presidential banquet in honor of Lorena Bobbitt, the woman who became famous in the '90s for cutting off her husband's dick.
"Soccer and castration! Soccer and castration for everyone!"