The Celts Wore the Most Terrifying Uniform of All: None
If you've seen Braveheart, you probably have a good visual point of reference for what the ancient Celts looked like. Like the Scots, they too went into battle painted in blue woad dye to distress their enemies. But the Celts took it a step further up the crazy ladder from Mel Gibson (which is really saying something, all things considered). The ancient Celts also spiked their hair using lime, stripped butt-ass naked, and screamed as they charged into the melee.
"Oh dammit, it touched me! IT TOUCHED ME!"
It's a brilliant strategy: Would you kill a guy with a literal battle-boner? That's just gross. You could never look at your sword the same way again.
The Celts did this because they believed that those who fought the most bravely would be most protected by the gods. And what better way to show your courage than slipping the ol' meat-hose out and running at a bunch of blades? Of course, that might not have been the only reason: Historians speculate that the Celts went naked in order to avoid infection when their dirty garments got into the injuries they sustained. But, scientifically speaking, it was probably the murder-boner thing.
Wanton slaughter: Nature's Viagra.
For more terrible historical fashions, check out 6 Weird Fashions From History (With Weirder Explanations) and 6 Popular Fashion Trends (That Killed People).
If you're pressed for time and just looking for a quick fix, then check out Why 'My Little Pony' Is About to Get Even Creepier.
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