... but with a bejeweled whip, pistol and a set of half-starved dogs who would attack on her command. Imagine this woman shooting people on a whim, using her belt to whip prisoners, then kicking them when they were down. And getting off on it the whole time.
Irma Grese loved her job like a white woman loves Oprah. She got off on torturing people, like when she used her whip to slash female prisoners' breasts. Then when the cuts became infected and required surgery -- without anesthesia, we should mention -- she watched the procedure in the operating room, enjoying orgasms so intense they "made saliva run down from the corner of her mouth."
Via Cwporter.comLet's just pretend there aren't websites dedicated to Irma's fetishes. Also, let's all drink ourselves to sleep tonight.
By the time she was tried and hanged for her crimes, Irma was only 22 years old. At the same age most of us were trying to figure out what to do with our bachelor's degrees, Irma Grese rewrote what it means to be horrible.
The Chichi-jima Incident
During World War II, nine American servicemen were shot down over the Japanese-held island of Chichi-jima. One was picked up by the submarine USS Finback, while the other eight were captured by the Japanese. According to eyewitnesses, those eight were executed (some via samurai sword). That's fairly normal war stuff. What supposedly happened after that, is not.
As we have well established by now, war does weird things to a person's brain. It is entirely possible, and even likely, that everyone involved in this was a perfectly normal person before the war. Keep that in mind.
Photos.com"So how was school today? Anything just ridiculously crazy fucking violent happen?"
So, the story goes that the Japanese Army officers hosted a party for the Japanese Navy officers, and they ran out of meat. So the guy in charge told one of his subordinates to get some kimo from a fresh grave -- kimo meaning "flesh," specifically the liver. The subordinate did what he was told and the liver was fried up alongside the sake and all the other goodies of the night.
Oh, it gets better.
Apparently the Japanese Navy officers at the dinner were so impressed that they started executing and serving up their own American POWs ... just to show off and be fancy. And the crazy thing -- that still wasn't even the worst part.
Photos.com"Babe, I'm pretty sure most WWII re-enactors skip this part for a reason."
Some of the POWs were executed before their bodies were cannibalized. Some weren't. As in, their limbs were amputated and their flesh was eaten on the spot -- on account of the islands not having enough refrigeration to properly store human meat.
Oh, one more thing. Do you remember that pilot who was spared from becoming an appetizer because he was picked up by a submarine?
That was George Bush, Sr.
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What the Hell Did I Just Read: A Novel of Cosmic Horror, the third book in David Wong's John Dies at the End series, is available now!