Below the statue was the only clue to its meaning, the phrase "In step with the times." Below that was the throng of tourists who now suddenly wanted their pictures taken with the coolest street art since Banksy vacationed on the West Bank. Upon seeing the desecration, Moscow officials chuckled heartily and wagged their vodka-soaked fingers. Just kidding, they were pissed. So Bulgaria scrubbed the superheroes clean and got them back to being Soviet soldiers. And they wait there to this day, hoping for another moment when they can go from Cold War relics to a plucky, ragtag group of mythical beings liberating who knows what.
We're pretty sure they drank black ink and wrote that in urine.
Carrying picket signs and getting Tased aren't the coziest forms of protest out there. Some people would rather just stay home with their needles and knit away society's problems. Sound crazy? You better believe it. They call themselves yarn bombers, possibly to add some badassery to the art of needling wool into afghans and baby booties. Some of the bombers have just run out of people to give their crappy scarves to, so they turned to wrapping their work around street signs and parking meters.
Others, like a woman who calls herself Olek, are full-on textile artists who get big time shows in artsy places. But that didn't stop her from giving the Wall Street bull the nice big pink and purple full body sweater you see above. Or this:
That person died four minutes later.
Technically, yarn bombing is considered as much an act of vandalism as spray painting a wall or peeing in public spaces, but come on. It's hard to arrest someone for crocheting stuff when a pair of kid-sized safety scissors can undo all the damage for you. Plus, the guys in charge would be arresting their own girlfriends, wives, mothers and daughters, which is only fun if you hate them to death. Finally, look at this:
Like anyone is going to get arrested for that, ever.
It is physically impossible to be angry while looking at this. We've done tests.
Mohammed Shariff can be found at Twitter and at BuzzFeed.
For more acts of badassery, check out 8 Awesome Cases of Internet Vigilantism and 9 Acts of Vigilantism Straight Out of a Comic Book.
If you're pressed for time and just looking for a quick fix, then check out The Truth About Ambition.
And stop by LinkSTORM to discover which columnist is actually Banksy.
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